Ali Maher

Short & kinda bouncy with an irrational fear of hunger.

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

@DisneyDLV I suddenly can’t harvest anything… will this glitch be fixed in this weeks update? Any suggestions in the meantime?

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

The new Smart Water ad with Pete Davidson looks like an ad for @evianwater

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

@maddow Kornacki is America’s beloved beta fish. I could watch him swim around in his little bowl all day, every day.

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Sorta funny they call him “Sleepy Joe” when he’s the only one trying to be woke... 🧐

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Mic drop 🎤

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

This is my commitment to you: We will make sure every American has access to a free and safe COVID-19 vaccine.

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Have we tried yelling “NO TAKE BACKS” at the Supreme Court? #SCOTUS #RoeVWade #CivilRights #GayMarriage #FlipTheSenate #Election2020 #vote

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Honestly, this year is so weird, this is the first thing I assumed was happening... #DebateNight2020 #VPDebates2020 #flygate #FLY2020 #flyonpence #BiddenHarris2020

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

So everything you need to know about Trump’s honesty and/or decision making comes down to the line in his taxes where he claims he spent $10,000 on his hair every year. #VoteBidenHarris2020

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

@VoLinxx Yes

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

What if Trump is the President to unite the country, ending systemic racism and misogyny by accidentally infecting all the doo-doo heads? 🧐🤞🏼 #WearAMask #COVID19 #CovidCaughtTrump

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Well this is only further proof of how contagious this thing is, because you know Melania hasn’t touched him in years #COVID19 #TrumpCovid #TrumpHasCovid #coronavirus #WearAMask

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

9 months from now, every nurse in the maternity ward: ...And how do you spell “Theodosia?” #HamiltonFilm #hamifilm #4thofJuly

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Come on, Cali... get your shit together. (See what I did there?) https://t.co/ovYBUFQv99

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Day 6 in isolation... the memory of “pants” is starting to fade #SocialDistancing #Isolation #selfquarantine

[Hillary Clinton @HillaryClinton]

Call your representatives today and demand they pass the #FamiliesFirst coronavirus bill. It contains:

- Free testing
- 14 days paid sick leave
- 3 months paid family leave
- Expanded unemployment insurance & food security
- Medicaid funds

Lives are on the line. [phone]

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

China: We are suffering...

America: Stop making this a big deal.

Italy: Hundreds of our people gone and 12,000 more laying in hospitals...

America: Hang in there, Paisans!

Tom Hanks: (((coughs)))

America: SHUT IT DOWWWWN

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

If you think this shiz is bonkers just wait a few days until all those people rise from the dead craving brains with freshly grated Parmesan

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

If you felt uncomfortable teaching your Generation Z coworker about how we used to have to parallel park without a dashboard camera, just wait to try explaining to your grandchildren what “handshakes” and “hugs” were

[Ali Maher @TheAliBubble]

Hoping Biden drops out to endorse himself 🤞🏼🇺🇸 #DNC #SuperTuesday