Darren allan

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@prss8192 Not in my eyes and that fucking really really really annoys them.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@mattrife @CapitalOne Matt just spoke to me and asked me to stop banking with capital one.
I told him to fuck off and called him a soft cunt.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@andyburnham I’ve just had my house burgled but thankfully I was able to log in to Google maps and see areas where I’m less likely to suffer a break in.

Superb policy Mr Burnham.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@andyburnham Andy, me saving 50p from each of your new schemes is hardly worth the effort mate.
Do better.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@K8ebby Dementia setting in is more of an issue.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@madebyolah Just don’t go back then you fucking gimp.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@HelenWebberley By using this twisted logic, a giraffe can perform an emergency tracheotomy on a patient as long as the doctor identifies as a giraffe.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@Anamta_ali_ Wheelchair tennis?

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@BigMoLoyal1872 Definitely 5-3-3

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@SarahCholwill I put my oven on today and heat up a steak pie. I didn’t pay for the electricity. They bill me and I pay it later.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@anon_opin And also pretty much
3. Keeping you in a shit job.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@Jasonlh1967 I go into Costa or Starbucks and say “Large Latte Please”
And you know what?
I pay and they give me a large latte.

There is absolutely none of the shit you mention.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@adamscrabble I’m not a bell end.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@The_FJC Grandparents.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@DocAtCDI Trying to confuse us by taking the petri angle there. 😳

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@elenico151 Had some absolutely superb times at oasis, from 94’ Glasgow cathouse, through Barrowlands, Irvine beach, loads more. Those times meant loads cos I was a kid. £6 for the cathouse gig. Actually walked past Rippping Records and popped in on the off chance.

This shitshow now?
No ta

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@RickyBo17401513 @MattyClayton27 @Ticketmaster “Had to” 😂😂😂

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@Missmbl2812 Once they get their cocks out and piss in a urinal, they’ll be fine.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@joshiguess_ @RoyalCaribbean Hopefully a handful give a shit.

[Darren allan @thearabstrap]

@JasonPeck It’s not for me but I’d imagine the minute you’re on the plane, luggage in locker, seatbelt on, you sit back and relax, holiday starts.
There’s no relaxation sitting waiting to board a plane.