Daniel

Get off my lawn.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

@JaredLeto me like bob dylan. plz halp. dont know much bout war; im just your general gemini. xx god bless you, kind man. tip of the cap to you, sir

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Check out the psycho mellow fellows who'll dunk you in funk and thrill you with a chill: @mobbingbali is too gnarley! #championbandsearch

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

poop fart

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

If you don't faintly hear the Friends theme song, "I'll Be There For You," when you look in your partner's eyes, your relationship is SHIT.

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

Marijuana? More like MOURNrijuana, because you’re parents will have to go to your funeral if you try it. #no

[©hris™ @ChrisTrauma]

Shout out to our moms' vaginas, nature's 3D printers

[noog @noog]

Dude, relax. I only dropped your baby once.

*thud*

Twice.

[slam dance tarantula @JermHimselfish]

A metal detector walks through another metal detector and discovers that his heart is made of the same thing that he's sworn to destroy.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Prospective band-names: Murray and the Stoners, Throwing Yogurt, Bad Dog, The Beatles, The Hipsters, John Mayer, The Karate Kid, Doritos.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

"What I got, you got to get it, put it in you." - Red Hot Chili Peppers, about their removable flash-drive.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

#ThrowingYogurt

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Morgan Freeman is the black man.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Samuel L Jackson is a black man.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Denzel Washington is a black man.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Eddie Murphy is a black man.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

"hey bro whats the time?" "sweatpants o'clock. all day. everyday."

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

I just realised I don't know the difference between khaki, beige and tan.

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

#beanielifestyle

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

William Shakespeare was heavily influenced and controlled by the Bush government. #UberFacts

[Daniel @thebearcatdan]

Grating cheese = the modern day lumberjack.