Bacon With Lettuce

I lost a sock and I'm on a quest to find it.

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

“I want to feel like chewbaca, but only from the shins down.”

-women wearing uggs

[Wade Phillips @sonofbum]

I was VERY surprised the Bills fired their Head Coach after a playoff loss. Wade Phillips

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

@DianteLeeFB Good luck man

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

@HighlyIngenious I can’t stand conflict so replaying is unavoidable for me

[MykeIsNotHere @MykeLeTauris]

Another morning of panic after an evening of eating beets.

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

@usasmitty So sorry 💔

[Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO]

[I'm happy we're getting fried chicken] “Let's get chicken-faced!”

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

When they sift through our post apocalyptic remains, they’ll find our safes filled with eggs and toilet paper.

[Darla @ddsmidt]

I never play chicken with anyone unless I’m absolutely positive that I’m more crazy than they are.

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

next stop, mississippi pot roast

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

My little nugget turned 9 yesterday. Where does the time go?

[Yesterday Girl🎈 @yesterdaygirly]

There aren’t many rules around my house, but there’s a certain order to the mug cabinet…
Failure to comply could result in injury, probably not death, but definitely injury.

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

All I know about algorithms is they seem to make people kinda angry

[Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub]

@MykeLeTauris ❤️

[Fesshole🧻 @fesshole]

My ex-wife thinks I've become a much nicer and more reasonable person in the years since we got divorced. The truth is I solely use ChatGPT to communicate with her. It's the AI that's nice. I'm still an idiot.

[Mac Dickson @MacDicksonShow]

Do dog’s paws smell like Fritos, or is it the other way around?

[jody @wnbagirlfriend]

i hate you platonically

[jody @wnbagirlfriend]

but babe being fucking delusional is sorta my thing

[erica @ericanextdooor]

(while being chased by a police dog) awww what’s his name

[Darla @ddsmidt]

X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup...