Slaydrienne

Pussyocalypse ⚡️ Transvaginal mesh enthusiast ⚡️ Smallpox champion

[crispy315 @crispy_315]

you guys wanna see a party trick?

[overdoses in the bathroom]

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@CountGripsnatch only a message from you can make me log on to Twitter. I love you.

[Spencer @13spencer]

The only weapon that would stop Matthew McConaughey is a t-shirt gun.

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@tigersgoroooar I only talk to celebs now. Bye.

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@MarkForwardd that was the best April Wine show I've ever been to.

[Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander]

Someone design a first person video game where you drive safely and never shoot anyone and get extra points for voting in a local election

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

Parents, don't forget to update your sex talk to include Netflix and chill.

[oll @dulcetry]

Maybe more people would go to church if they had hologram Jesus just shredding the fuck out of a guitar on stage

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@eTHEgoddess sorry I need a coffee before I can read this

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@ImaFlyontheWall how you doin'?

[Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander]

A YouTube star, a blogger, and an Instagram celebrity walk into a bar. Literally no one gives a shit.

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

Outlook meeting requests needs a “I’d rather swan dive off an overpass into oncoming traffic but I’ll be there” option.

[Spencer @13spencer]

[Delicatessen]
*a woman at another table chokes on her meal, and dies*
Me: I'll have what she's having.

[Mariya Alexander @MariyaAlexander]

Sext: I find you less gross than most other people hi

[Aaron Blitzstein @AaronBlitzstein]

John Lennon would have been 75 today and probably a judge on America's Got Talent.

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

@tigersgoroooar I've broken out into a cold sweat now.

[Michael Dawson @michaeljdawson]

How cool are you, on a scale of 1 to teacher sitting backwards on a chair?

[Slaydrienne @TheBlessMess]

Now that I'm older, I wish my friends would peer pressure me into saving for retirement.

[Matt Fernandez @FattMernandez]

Sometimes I worry I've smoked so much weed, that I've forgotten something cool. Like knowing karate. I've Jason Bourned myself.