ʙʀᴀɴ

ᴇxᴄᴜsᴇ ᴍᴇ, ᴍʀs. ғɪɴɢᴇʀʙᴏᴛᴛᴏᴍ?

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

True crime podcast: unsettling, 60 min, makes me lose my appetite

Listening to Earl Had to Die: less than 5 min, celebrates friendship, makes me crave Tennessee ham and strawberry jam

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@aliahdomino Bonus pic of me ~8 years ago with bomb texture and a good bun c/o perm.

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@aliahdomino I’ve had several perms and LOVED THEM. The worst part is ppl being like “UR STUPID DONT DO IT,” that’s annoying 😬😅 Find curl cream you love & finger brush only! A perm with big rods (wave/body perm) will grow out really well!!

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

Welcome to our website!
Would you like to opt in to our emails?
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Send me a I am a massive piece
coupon for 5% of shit who doesn’t
off an order enjoy discounts
over $100

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@edelheids Whoa more like Carole YASkin!

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@MaryPerson This is my favorite version so far Mary, excellent work

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@lizwhittweets I also waitresses for 2 years as a teenager and still, 15+ years later, still have nightmares about packed sections and unhappy diners

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@ComicsRose

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@aliahdomino We were married 4 years when our first was born and then had 7 years after that to our second. There’s nothing sweeter than just-right timing ✨ (sleeping baby bonus pic bc I can’t help myself!)

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

“Do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor? Remind me never to come to you for a physical!”

“I went to those obedience places once. It was all going well until they spilled candle wax on my private parts.”

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

His announcer in Best in Show makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts every time 🧡💛

[NPR @NPR]

The big screen has lost one of its most prolific scene stealers.

Fred Willard has died. He was 86.
https://t.co/inA7fnOqL8

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

Every single TV commercial:
Together, we are stronger. Together, we can do anything. Now more than ever we need courage, perseverance, optimism, and new cars. We’re here for you. With cars. New ones.

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

John Madden’s grandkids were in the daycare of a yoga studio where I worked. He came in and was like “Hello, I’m John Madden.” And I said “Hey, what’s up” Because I didn’t know he was famous. Then my dad crapped his pants when I told him. He seemed nice enough.

[Mave @MavenofHonor]

Now, more than ever, we should share our most mundane celebrity encounters. For example, in 2002 I saw Diane Keaton in the Gap

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@aliahdomino A few months after I had my son I saw a friend who said “Look at you!” (And I braced for a body comment) “You look so HAPPY!” I think about that all the time. They were the kindest words.

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

I really love my house 💙✨

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

Clark (8) watched Prince Caspian tonight and after it was over he disappeared upstairs. When I went up to check on him he said he was “just taking some time to be by myself and cry thinking about the kids leaving Narnia forever.” 💔

[Sarah Cooper @sarahcpr]

How to medical

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@MaryPerson Hear me out: you buy other products with cute branding! Plus h2o is v cute and trendy right now

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you do not need any special soaps or rinses or sprays for your vagina. Just use clean water in the shower. All the pH balancing stuff they talk about in commercials? Your body does that on its own. Promise.

[ʙʀᴀɴ @thebrandilyn]

@jennabohenna YES!! I feel like these companies prey on young girls who are self conscious and don’t know better and it becomes a LIFELONG THING!