daniel dye

I have 289 Neanderthal variants

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Happy birthday to our true lord and savior, Barbra Streisand. She is risen 🙏

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Me: Vaccinate your kids! Climate change is real! BELIEVE SCIENCE

Also me: Hey what’s your sign? I bet you’re a cancer moon with a Sagittarius rising

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Aneska, let's be friends

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

@mocho_33 Oh my

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Yes it’s correct that I’m a bad bitch
Bitch I consume my rice and cabbage
Buttocks so obese he desires to grasp them
For a handful of 100s he may acquire them

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Nobody:

Mitski: Nobody

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Apparently heelies are back?

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

I’m parked next to these yee yees at a gas station and their truck smells like cow poop what a yee yee thing to do

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Can you imagine me British? Eating tea and dunking crumpers.

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

I just found out that in England they call French toast “eggy bread.” What the fuck is eggy bread? I’m so glad we declared independence from you guys.

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

@CarolineW_16 No

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

I can’t wait until the end of this fucking show

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

@mocho_33 Ok

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Nobody:

Me: *has never seen an episode of game of thrones and doesn’t plan to*

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Olive oil and lemon juice do not taste good together please stop telling me to use it as a salad dressing

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Me: *dies*

People on earth: at least he’s in a better place

Me in hell:

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

@mocho_33 Double jizzle? I have questions

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

The girl in Bridge to Terabithia when her rope snapped:

[daniel dye @thedanieldye]

Me after I die thinking I’m about to open the door to heaven but then I hear demons laughing on the other side: