Marcos Carvalho

Comedian, quip expert, wordsmith and lover of greasy food.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@krakenfx

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@Gemini 500 BTC

[Gemini @Gemini]

Welcome to #GeminiGiveaways✨ our new giveaway series. To celebrate Bitcoin Pizza Day, we’re giving away $500 in #BTC to 1 new or existing Gemini user 🍕

MUST follow the rules to enter: https://t.co/xb3RZcfr3d

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@Acyn He is right. My penis was a healthy 12 inches during Trump's presidency. Since Biden, it's 3, 4, maybe 5 inches if I pinch it real hard.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@mmamania @SugaSeanMMA He looks like he gained ounces of muscle since then!

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@Sccss @simonateba why would you spend your time wondering about something that didn't happen, instead of wondering how this real person must be feeling right now? Don't worry about problems that don't exist yet. This is horrible. A person being attacked while others laugh and film it. 😖

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@ADAMDEVINE That ain't it. Well, it's not all of it. I think it's actually timing. Humor moves at light speed now, because of the internet. By the time a movie is released, the jokes that were funny 8 months ago belong in a museum.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@MMAJunkie @LoganPaul @dillondanis People out there giving money to watch a 28 yo beat up on a series of washed up old dudes. And just barely, too. Youngun is out there struggling to put away 40 yo has-beens! To each his own, I guess.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@kelleydeal @thebreeders @kellydeal Thank you so much for heads-up months ago! I got it!

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

hey, @thebreeders @kellydeal! Any chance of a special re-issue of celebration of Last Splash's 30th anniversary? Nothing would bring me more joy. #lastsplash #thebreeders

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@LadyofCrypto1 I would remove/edit the "Don't give up" part. We don't know the future. The whole thing might come crashing down. Know when to give up. Please see "Cut Your Losses" section.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@DogecoinNorway the majority is holding up their phones filming it, so they can post it to social media, so their friends will think they're cool. We now go to parties to prove that we were at parties, instead of dancing and having fun.

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@JoJoFromJerz I don't mean to be a stickler, because I want to agree with you, but guns have no rights. People have more rights to own guns than rights on matters of education and abortion. 🤷‍♂️

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

Hey, @danjlevy When do we get a Schitt's Creek movie? Please? 🥳

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@kelleydeal @thebreeders @kellydeal Last Splash is my favorite record ever. I can't wait. In the meantime...💞 Thanks!

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@kellydeal @thebreeders @kelleydeal

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@elonmusk Can Twitter turn back time to 2005. So it doesn't exist?

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@elonmusk How hard would it be to program bots to ignore your account, to make it seem like they're not there?

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@theblondebroker Is this a real account? Do you need a non-sexual hug?

[Marcos Carvalho @thefunnymarcos]

@LadyofCrypto1 That seems arbitrary. How did you come up with that number?