The Internet VC

Daily skits about VC and startups
🫢 The investor every founder dreams of
GPs: Sebastian 🇪🇺 sometimes Tyler 🇺🇸
📧 [email protected]

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@VCBrags 😂😂😂😂

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

The last person you see before walking down the aisle while your $45B levered fund is busy becoming required reading at HBS

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

You are negotiating with an Italian VC

#vc #satire

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@theisaacmed Tried it and it sucks, Claude is 10x better

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

My morning before I look at a single pitch deck:
→ 45 min ceremonial matcha preparation
→ 20 min LinkedIn thought leadership
→ 15 min checking if portfolio companies updated their GDPR policies
→ Review my Capri chairlift schedule

Then I pass on everything.

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

Had a call with a founder today. 40% margins, 200% YoY growth. I asked about the AI strategy. She said they don't need one. I had to end the call early, I felt physically ill.

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

Revenue is temporary. GDPR compliance is forever.

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

A founder pitched me a product with 12,000 paying users and 94% retention. I asked where the moat was. He said the product. I told him a moat is a ChatGPt wrapper or at minimum a waitlist. He had neither. I wished him well and went back to my matcha.

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

“First AI Continent”

They should fire the social media manager

[Ursula von der Leyen @vonderleyen]

AI is the most important technology of our time.

Europe wants to become the first AI Continent.

For advanced healthcare, for the transport sector and so much more.

European AI Gigafactories will provide the necessary computing power to make this possible.

Together with our Member States, we are funding their construction with up to €10 billion, which are set to unlock at least €20 billion in private investements across the EU.

Together, we are building our technological sovereignty.

https://t.co/Vxko4TRXVL

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@eurofounder You forgot 9 weeks of annual leave and 70% of unemployment benefit. WE ARE MILLIONAIRES

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@treejordan So I tattooed a bird on my ass for nothing?

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@HeyGen Oh no, AI slop coming to podcasts as well

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@DozenDucc @yiding_song @theWaddleLabs Holy sh*t, this is insane

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

When US founder is meeting a German VC

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

This YC founder did not understand the concept of Euro summer

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

POV: you are getting pitched by an ex Palantir employee

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@VCBrags I work very hard, from my yacht

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

Who is this founder? I want to invest in him

[Ted Chai @tedzchai]

signs of the top at South Park

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

This would be extremely non-GDPR compliant in the EU

[Augmental @augmentaltech]

MouthPad is a touchpad you drive with your tongue.

Now available across the US.

[The Internet VC @theinternetvc]

@heyblake It’s called @theinternetvc