theketh

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@Optum_Support

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@optum_support received an unexpected call from optum, asking me for PII. Transferred to a person also asking for PII. They can't tell me why they're calling. When the call ended they put me on hold instead of letting me do the post call survey. Is this normal?

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.@TSmoothieCafe is this the typical banana one would find delivered from your stores? Gainesville, VA out here trying to win banana of the year

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@McDonalds wtf is this large fry? Thanks McDonald's Haymarket va

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@_Jeg_ I've never understood people I go on vacation with wanting to go home because they miss their pets so much... Until I started missing my bidet... When can I go home, I'm miserable

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@_Jeg_ The only reason I don't commit crimes is my belief that there are no bidets in prison

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@_Jeg_ Step 1 reimage..... Rookies

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Dear @Commanders can you please update https://t.co/ZUk74O98NF I don't want to look at these people ever again in my life. Thanks!

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@_Jeg_ I knew you loved fish

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@_Jeg_ It's called wiggly bacon, and it's the tits

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@_Jeg_ Happy shartday!!

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@_Jeg_ Next time you consult with your financial advisor before making such a big dumb purchase

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This is how @Lowes ships delivers @Ariens mowers. Front wheels dangling, weight supported by the deck, bashed forks into the deck... Delivery driver peaced out.... Very cool, thanks for the brand new fixer upper... Also I guess I just destroy this palette so I can drive it off?

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@_Jeg_ In my 20s I lived an entire summer at the lake without cable (or a job)... One of the over the air channels I got played six episodes of Raymond per day... Time well spent

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@Tempiwmf @_Jeg_ PWC, VA

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@_Jeg_ @Tempiwmf Buy an apartment in my county, 0% tax on rvs, then you have a place you can rent out while pretending to live here

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@_Jeg_ As your financial advisor, I advise against this unless you can get some dumbass to go with you

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@_Jeg_ Time for @elonmusk to ban you because you said something nice about someone who isn't him