Don’t go chasing waterfalls...cautiously approach and be careful of slippery conditions. In fact, you may just want to stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to.
We had over 400 open tickets in the backlog this morning.
I realized that managing them was taking up valuable engineering time.
So I just selected all of them and changed the status to closed.
My reasoning is that if a bug has been there for two years, it's not a bug.
It's a core structural element of the user experience.
The PM called an emergency meeting and asked where the Q2 roadmap went.
I told him the roadmap was in our hearts now.
We don't need a Kanban board to tell us how to write code.
If a user actually cares about a feature, they'll submit another ticket.
It's essentially a natural selection process for software requirements.
Only the strongest complaints survive the great purge.
Someone pointed out that I deleted the compliance tasks for GDPR.
I just smiled and said privacy is an illusion anyway.
The legal team is drafting a memo about my actions.
I'm hoping they put it in Jira so I can close it too.
Artemis II crew is thousands of miles away from Earth
And they’re asking ground crew for help because they have two versions of Microsoft Outlook open and neither is working
This scene is now canon 😭