Kevin Sherman

We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master. - Ernest Hemingway

[Tobias Maximus @tmaxftw]

@forgebitz We’re gonna do waterfall projects but 14 days at a time for 3 years

[Lion @LionInCrisis]

DELETE RIGHT NOW!!!

[Ross McCulloch @Rossmac212]

True😂

[Neil Renic @NC_Renic]

Need the Pope to release an encyclical against Teams calls

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Scientists Discover Tea Tastes Best When Dumped Out And Replaced With Coffee https://t.co/sxBAdWoNbw

[Sergey Nazarov @sergeynazarovx]

We used to go to a special website, ask strangers for help with programming, and get humiliated in return

[Jordanreviewsittt @jordanreviewsit]

He’s going to the post office. Add 10 people in line who have never mailed anything in their entire life

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

'Why Would I Get My Wife A Mother's Day Gift, She's Not My Mom,' Says Dead Man https://t.co/VWMLBLIJD5

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Don’t go chasing waterfalls...cautiously approach and be careful of slippery conditions. In fact, you may just want to stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to.

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

I need a one week notice at the very least

[Alice Mills @millsalice144]

My dad used to tell me that you can’t save anyone; they have to save themselves.

Great man. Terrible lifeguard.

[Presidential Wisdom @PrezWisdom]

Young Abraham Lincoln 🇺🇸 looks like he routinely bursts into Jerry Seinfeld’s apartment and takes his food and uses his television

#POTUS 😂

[JSON K8s @json_kubernetes]

We had over 400 open tickets in the backlog this morning.

I realized that managing them was taking up valuable engineering time.

So I just selected all of them and changed the status to closed.

My reasoning is that if a bug has been there for two years, it's not a bug.

It's a core structural element of the user experience.

The PM called an emergency meeting and asked where the Q2 roadmap went.

I told him the roadmap was in our hearts now.

We don't need a Kanban board to tell us how to write code.

If a user actually cares about a feature, they'll submit another ticket.

It's essentially a natural selection process for software requirements.

Only the strongest complaints survive the great purge.

Someone pointed out that I deleted the compliance tasks for GDPR.

I just smiled and said privacy is an illusion anyway.

The legal team is drafting a memo about my actions.

I'm hoping they put it in Jira so I can close it too.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

"claude, my taxes are due in one hour. i owe five figures and have made no estimated payments. keep me out of jail. make no mistakes."

[Rob B @RobBfromDerby]

“The Strait of Hormuz is open and the sailors are having a wonderful time”

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Roman Soldier Assigned To Guard Tomb Of Some Jewish Carpenter Looking Forward To Uneventful Weekend https://t.co/oKkCy0MpWz

[Shishir @ShishirShelke1]

Artemis II crew is thousands of miles away from Earth

And they’re asking ground crew for help because they have two versions of Microsoft Outlook open and neither is working

This scene is now canon 😭

[Hard Pass @HardPass4]

GM. Thursday. Almost there.