Courtney Lurton

My hubby is HOT!

[Ollie Garch (Not Sanctioned) @ojedge]

God: [proudly looking at Adam] "My finest creation!"

Assistant: "Sir, we have some ball-skin left over?"

God: "Just put it on his elbows"

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

https://t.co/MKRg2e5Ud9

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg Oh Elmo, what do I feel between my legs?

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg wow!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg whoa momma!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg wow is that how you really feel?

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg didn't lose this follower! Those were awesome!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg it's gonna be rough!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg NICE!!!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg what TC movie are you watching? Does he RUN better in Spanish too!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

Happy Birthday Celeste. #SevilleQuarter

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

#SevilleQuarter Are we the oldest people here?!?!?

[Erica House @Erica_D_House]

That's that.

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@SewNews pajama Pants for nephew and own two boys. Navy corduroy puff sleeve dress with nieces names appliqued at bottom. Valentine skirts.

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg my roommate n college used to call it her booger graveyard.

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

What kind of tranquilizer gun are you supposed to use on an eight-year-old boy?

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg Oh you poor thing. Your wife doesn't do that for you?!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg . . . And that she DID replenish this morning!

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

@rambo_dogg your wife told ME that you put the toilet paper on the back of commode instead of on the paper roll.

[Courtney Lurton @thelurtons]

My husband woke me up by scratching me with his "witch" toenails! Great way to start the day!