Salmontha

[Salmontha @themellan]

“We’re all dogs in God’s hot car” @grapeonafork @AvocadoToastBoi

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi Your digital footprint is insane

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi 😉

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi 😟🔫

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi I’ve instructed him to presume everyone is gay until proven otherwise

[Salmontha @themellan]

“I’m the Kings funniest jester” @AvocadoToastBoi

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi Oh the hummus can but I can’t?

[Salmontha @themellan]

Imagine being personally offended by geese crossing the road. Like they have ruined your entire day on purpose

[Salmontha @themellan]

*geese crossing the road*
@AvocadoToastBoi “NOOOO why does life have to be like this today!”

[AvocadoToastBoi @AvocadoToastBoi]

Born to be a court jester, forced to work an office job

[Salmontha @themellan]

Going to piss my pants in this Wegmans if I can’t find the bathroom

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi Eating a salty cracker could fix me

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi I think this is an inside thought

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi I ♥️ spinach

[Salmontha @themellan]

Dry scooping bayer rapid relief

[Salmontha @themellan]

“Spread ‘em” -@AvocadoToastBoi

[AvocadoToastBoi @AvocadoToastBoi]

When will my serotonin return from the war?

[Salmontha @themellan]

@AvocadoToastBoi That sounds delicious