The Milky Beans FC

The official The Milky Beans Football Club Twitter account #TMBFC

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

We won the league! WePlay Waterloo Premiership Champs

@gautammenon123 @alex__munday

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Babe what’s wrong? You’ve barely stared into the enchanting eyes of our hairy boy

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Alex

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

While we’re here…

#mundayonawednesday

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Gaut’s last game tonight before heading off to NZ to do medicine and that. You haven’t heard from us in a while, but you ought to know when a real one is leaving the milky ranks for a while.

Mo Ka Tai - we will miss you homie

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

#LookWhosBack

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Pab was mom well done m8

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

20.20 tomorrow night. The team return to the pitch, but most importantly - He’s small, he’s hairy, he makes the boys go crazy, it’s biggy smalls

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Give a man some milk and he will be quenched, give him beans and he will be satisfied. But give him milky beans, and he will find true enlightenment

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

#MundayonaTuesday

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Imagine you normally had a steaming pile of shit for lunch, but today you get a delicious steak. That’s how our lads felt when learning @JoshGilbert123 was injured and will be replaced by the keeper’s brother @pabloescobar - we’re really excited to have a proper player with us!

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Back for more @Tomkilleen95 is in the side, as always. Spotted in a London spa pre match, he appeared calm and composed, in front of goal or having a mud mask, he’s never flustered

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Given that it’s almost the festive season, let’s talk about how sexy @alex__munday is. God damn he’s a hot tamale isn’t he? Knees weak, arms are heavy, I wish alex would kiss me already, mom’s spaghetti #callmeeminem

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

What can I say about @WillEastonMusic and his music? Nothing his confused, but supportive friends and teammates already haven’t. Is this music? Have you plugged your speakers in properly? When does it get good? Can you play a proper one now? Can you do one with cbbc references?

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Team tonight is a particularly good one. Between the sticks with a tiny, cocktail sausage of a dick, it’s Pablo ‘I forgot my keys’ Martinez. Famously forgetful, he also regularly forgets how to pull girls, neck pints and not be a Tory in public

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Evening beans and milky men. Well, that’s it. Last game of the season. We came, we saw, we conquered, Alex took his shirt off, we came again. For the last time this campaign, we line up against digital elite, the only team to hand us a defeat this year. We will end them.

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

The human equivalent of a flaccid micropenis, he’s think steventries is funny and he listens to James Arthur while cry wanking most nights. Imagine looking like mark zuckerberg’s shitter, wankier little brother. Will he hit puberty? 🤞 It’s skinny tosser @JoshGilbert123

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Just a really solid, nice bloke. I’d go for a pint with him. You should to. Content king with the left foot like riise. It’s @Tomkilleen95. Fuck he’s just class tbh #callouthisname #tommyk

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Spotted in a gym recently dressed in clothes he describes as ‘just my style’ and ‘noncey yet poncey.’ It’s the skinniest, poshest todger we know with the worst fade ever and the butteries fingers in London. If he’s not blozzing dicks, he’s between the sticks, It’s pablo Martinez

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

466 million people are deaf, worldwide. Before he scratched his first record, none of them had anything to listen to. Until now. The musical equivalent of a fart in a lift - it’s @WillEastonMusic

[The Milky Beans FC @TheMilkyBeansFC]

Team tonight: It’s the man with limitless sex appeal and more concussions than pictures on Facebook of him eating - it’s @alex__munday