Tom Killeen

[Farrukh @implausibleblog]

Marina Purkiss humiliates Jacob Rees-Mogg.

He fumbles, obfuscates, and shames himself throughout.

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

Took Adderall too late in the day yesterday and was up until 4am writing down compliments i could give a judge to get him on my side if im on trial

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@lowkeyalbert @alex__munday

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@willeaston95 @alex__munday Nope!

[Andy Field @andyfieldhello]

Tearfully waving out the train window as my girlfriend runs alongside

*45 minutes later*

She's still keeping pace. It's inhuman. Everyone on the train is screaming. I'm begging her to stop but she can't hear me. Her eyes are pure white. Police helicopters circle overhead

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

you sure are bud

[Jeremy @jeremylevick]

Yo, lol you’re gonna love seeing all the spots in my hometown, i honestly have so many crazy stories lol lemme drive u around Lol

[Karen Hobbs @karen_hobbs]

Babe, are you ok? You've barely worn your Remembrance thong.

[shelbo @shelbytheclown]

hope this helps 🍁🍂

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

men will literally disguise their frigate as an overburdened whaling ship in order to lure a cunningly captained french privateer in close enough to deliver a shattering broadside instead of going to therapy

[Matt Hancock @MattHancock]

Checking out now for a lovely evening with my lovely wife

[katie spalding @supermathskid]

it's hard to see how the industry will recover after this year

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@geraldstratfor3 Beautiful garden Gerald, keep up the good work!

[George Pointon @GeorgePointon_]

I asked my Year 1 classes to tell me a joke;
Here is my analysis.
A THREAD

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@abidickson01 @WillEastonMusic

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@pubIad @JoshGilbert123

[Tom Killeen @Tomkilleen95]

@Luke_MCFC @JoshGilbert123