@spiRiituaL After dropping out from school at primary 6 I started learning upholstery/ furniture making till date as still doing it and I love the skill so much working on how to expand my knowledge.
Having a skills is a big flex .
Tony Robbins on how to change someone who doesn't want to change:
1. People only change when they link enough pain to staying the same or enough pleasure to changing. Ideally, both at once. This is not a mindset shift. It happens in the nervous system, not the head. Your head can know exactly what you should do, and your gut will override it every single time.
2. Yes, you can change someone who doesn't want to change. But not by forcing them. You find the leverage that makes them change themselves. Everyone has a point that will get them to follow through. For some people, it is not even the threat of their own life. For others, it is their children. For others, it is spiritual growth. The leverage is different for everyone, but it always exists.
3. The food poisoning example. You used to love a food or a drink. Then one night it came back up with enough intensity and enough aroma that to this day you cannot look at it without feeling repelled. No willpower required. Your brain simply rewired what it links pleasure to. That is the entire mechanism of change in one story.
4. Scrooge did not want to change. He was certain he did not need to change. Three ghosts showed up and did one thing: they made him link unbearable pain to his past, his present, and his future simultaneously. When there is nowhere to escape, change happens in a heartbeat. Robbins calls this the Dickens pattern. Lock pain into all three time zones at once, and there is no exit.
5. People avoid changing by escaping to a different time period. If the present is painful, escape to a good memory from the past. If the past was also painful, invent a better future and escape there. As long as one of those three zones offers relief, the pressure to change dissolves. Removing all three exits and change becomes inevitable.
6. Problem is some people have accidentally linked pain to things they actually need: exercise, intimacy, and hard conversations. The association is wrong, but it runs their life anyway. The job is not to build more willpower. It is to change what you have linked pain and pleasure to in the first place.
Behind every regret and every happiness in a man’s life, a decision once sat on the throne.
Life follows the direction of the choices we make. Good or Bad... we must dance to it.