Faizan

Therapy is expensive. Tweeting is free.

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

I don't have a take on the Mamdani–Trump meeting. I have watched the discourse for 3 hours and accomplished nothing. This app is the meeting. We are all in the room

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

Found my grandpa's wallet after the funeral. No cash. No cards that worked. Just a folded note that said 'tell them I tried.' I've thought about those 5 words every day for 2 years.

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@sodasprouts the fact that “there’s too much of him” was probably the correct answer

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

I will trust a car with failed brakes and cracked tires before I trust a woman who says: "He is just a friend"

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@bukunmiiiiiiii never trust a face that looks this innocent

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@troop_hater the beautiful game just lost him to the beautiful deen

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

men can sit in the same room for three hours without speaking and somehow consider it quality time

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

the older you get, the more you realize “i’m fine” can mean anything from “i genuinely feel great” to “please don't ask me another question.

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@M0CHAD13D “don’t buy it” somehow became “buy it, throw it away, then feel morally superior”

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

I’m thinking about getting married. What’s one thing I absolutely need to know before I do?

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@voiceofgeraldo went from “it’s my birthday” to “this is not how I thought tonight would go”

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

We used to spend hours trying to make our phones look cooler. Custom wallpapers, ringtones, themes, fonts, everything. Now most people just want the screen dark, the notifications silent, and nobody calling

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

Most people don't want advice. They want a witness. That's why your honest opinions lose friends and your silence keeps them.

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@SparrowAdorer the commentary is exposing how hard it is for adults to roleplay having zero thoughts about traffic

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@big_smoke2112 teeth really said “we’ll preserve ourselves once the owner is gone

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@Darkk_Deco ancient civilizations really had one universal rule: keep walking and mind your business

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@CyGasser the 2026-27 naming convention makes every other sport sound like it has homework

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@kmpossible_ bro married the girl and somehow ended up with three more versions of her

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

sometimes when my partner tells a long story I stop listening but keep nodding and I've been doing it for 4 years and now I just have to hope the story never comes up again"

[Faizan @thereplyguyyy]

@krassenstein I guarantee he’ll lose” is doing a lot of work for a lawsuit that hasn’t even reached the finish line