T

play-pretend grown-up

[sheeva @sheevasmells]

once again

[T @theresasaidso]

having long and/or fake nails is all fun and games until you have to take out your contact lenses— then the game becomes spearfishing and it is no longer fun.

[T @theresasaidso]

why is using the massage chair while you get a pedicure so unjustifiably embarrassing

[T @theresasaidso]

choose your fighter:

[T @theresasaidso]

time for the annual internal debate of whether or not getting a cool jacket is worth having to run a marathon.

[T @theresasaidso]

so glad i didn’t get married in my early 20s for lots of reasons, but mostly because i would def pick something super dumb for my first dance song, like ed sheeran “tenerife sea”

[T @theresasaidso]

needing to wear glasses in order to be able to find and put on your glasses is the biggest fucking design flaw of anything ever

[T @theresasaidso]

meant to open reddit but accidentally clicked on my meditation app instead and if that isn’t my psyche trying to tell me something then idk what is

[T @theresasaidso]

simply no use for acne. can’t think of a single benefit to pimples. not one.

[T @theresasaidso]

you either crushed today’s wordle or it crushed you

[T @theresasaidso]

those three little words: built-in shelving

[T @theresasaidso]

CANALS.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

I think it's time for Shania Twain to release a song full of things that DO impress her (much). Canals, being willing to cry in public, how strong ants are for their size, speed-reading. Whatever it is, it's time we knew.

[T @theresasaidso]

Wordle 213 4/6

⬛⬛🟨⬛⬛
🟨⬛⬛⬛⬛
⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[T @theresasaidso]

no girl has all three—
good skin
good hair
good credit

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” it’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient

[T @theresasaidso]

great dane implies the existence of mediocre dane thank you

[cella 🤌 @mikeVcella]

the CDC says it's not omicron unless it comes from the Omicrônne region of France, otherwise it's just sparkling covid

[Smithsonian @smithsonian]

Merry Christmas! These mid-20th-century wrapping papers are from our @cooperhewitt's collection. Tear into more: https://t.co/z5aaJV3u1X

[T @theresasaidso]

me trying to determine if my symptoms are covid or allergies or anxiety or GERD or just entirely psychosomatic