ur mom

I just want a bagel with strawberry cream cheese

[Rowan Fornow 🚵🚉🏙️🦣🇵🇸 @rowanfornow]

Worst part of the Halloween season by far is putting the fentanyl and razor blades in the Snickers. It's so much work and I feel like the kids never even notice anyway. Not sure I'll even bother this year.

[matt @sidneycrassby]

THE PITTSBURGH FAGGOTS HAVE WON A GAME

[all of garden @hamburgers911]

we cookin up antibiotic resistant adhd

[xXChrissyCatXx @crunkcore]

do you ever start talking to someone and realize you have noticeably incompatible autisms

[Pope Crave @ClubConcrave]

Pope Leo declared free of cancer, says Vatican

[LISA🦋 @LISA4drill]

my kitty cat was wandering around going
'mrrph?" so i was like "in here!" he goes
"mrrph!" shoves open my bedroom door with his big round head and FLOPS on me. as in hard enough that he made a little "oof" noise when he did it. followed by a category five purring event. there's good in this world mr frodo etc

[d @avsinseider]

some motivational posters @Mackinnon9‼️

[Sarah Everett @goddammitsarah]

the feminine urge to save all 24 of the tiny jam jars that came with your bonne maman advent calendar because you might need them

[ur mom @thewolverpeen]

@goldenxbuck ice cream before dinner mention 😭😭😭

[VICO @Vicophobia01]

I have ADHD which means I complete tasks based on how mad I think other people will be if I don’t 🙃🙃🙃

[rina @rinaisnotokay]

a popular headcanon that I have simply accepted as canon: arthur pike is autistic and uncle shane is his favorite person coz he just gets him For Some Reason

[jia @whimsyteal]

macklin celebrini speech bubble:

[Amos Wollen 🦐🪰🌱 @goingawoll]

this morning I’m walking back from class. a group of teenage boys are behind me. “ask him ask him”. snickering one of these delinquents whines “excuse me excuse me, who did you lose your virginity to?” the speed of the “your mum” that left my mouth will be studied for generations

[ur mom @thewolverpeen]

@candyenthus9 @goingawoll literally like what other response could you possibly anticipate from a complete stranger

[Beskar @_Beskar]

My hot take is that modern fantasy's obsession with making everything vaguely "celtic" and "fae" is like... safe orientalism.

[cecidrai @cecidrais]

Whoever loses to the Flyers first should get relegated to the AHL

[VICO @Vicophobia01]

“You don’t seem like you have ADHD” thank you I have spent approximately 30 years developing an elaborate system of severe anxiety and self-punishment to achieve this result.

[ur mom @thewolverpeen]

@djopantheress paul atreides

[jules 🪐 @organyx118]

“everybody take cover”

[annie! 🧜🏻‍♂️🌟🐠 @destinanniee]

athena’s hair triggered a 9.7 magnitude cuntquake that caused the volcanoes in la to make themselves known and erupt btw