Something Dad Said

Being a dad makes you say weird things. I am constantly hearing myself utter phrases I never knew could exist. Here are some of them.

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"No wet willies, OR fights to the death." #somethingdadsaid #dadlife #Parenthood

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"I live in a house of all boys and I don't want all the cookies to be poop 💩 cookies!" -Mom

Merry Christmas ⛄🎄🎁

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"Water is not lunch." #somethingdadsaid

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"His name isn't 'Home Alone'... it's Kevin..."

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"Why are you making pants out of a box?" #somethingdadsaid

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"There's about 14 million legos in this house, why do you have to fight about that one?" #somethingdadsaid #dadlife

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"How can you eat a garlic-knot and a ring-pop at the same time?"

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"A Cheese and Butterfinger Calzone does not sound very good..."

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

5: "Aw... I wish I had a pet to take care of..."
Dad: "There's a dog sitting literally 8 inches from your foot..."

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"I changed my mind. Nobody is allowed to pee their pants" #somethingdadsaid #parenting #dadlife

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"I don't think you'd feel very good if you swallowed a whole house." #somethingdadsaid #dadlife #parenting

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"Eating that last bite of chicken is what made your knee bleed?" #somethingdadsaid #parenting #dadlife

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"On the news they said Brothers have to stay 10 feet away from each other or they will get the coronavirus." #somethingdadsaid #dadlies #leaveyourbrotheralone #parenting

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

Dad: Did your brother get any money from the tooth fairy?
4: yeah!
Dad: How much?
4: i think like sixty hundred
Dad: I wish I could get sixty hundred for a tooth. I'd pull them all out right now.
#dadlife #parenting #toothfairy

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"I'm not sure what temperature the couch is set to..."

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"So... what DOES a dead earwig sound like?" #somethingdadsaid

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"That's the first time I've ever heard someone suggest '7/11' for dinner..." #somethingdadsaid

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"Im sorry... did you just say you want potato chips with your pancakes?" #somethingdadsaid #dadlife #parenting

[Something Dad Said @thewordsofdad]

"You want waffles and... string cheese for breakfast?" #somethingdadsaid