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28. 🏳️‍🌈 bipolar, anxiety, anorexia nervosa.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

So i struggle with if I should just continue to have kids and breastfeed to prevent relapse or if I should just be done when we are done, but know I will relapse hard.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Hey all it been a while.
Ive been on here but havent posted anything. I had my second baby end of January and it was a beautiful home birth. I cant believe my body has come so far from my deep ED days. I dont know what recovery looks like. I think being pregnant and-

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Breastfeeding helped with relapse. But even with breatsfeeding,- there are times I struggle because I am genuinely so hungry.
Im not sure eifnthisnisnthe last or if we will haveanother, but im sure I will relapse hard when we are done having kids....

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Wtf is wrong with h this app..
I don't see any posts from the people I follow.. just random crap??

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Does anyone actually recover from their eating disorder??

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Negative thoughts are just swarming back to me

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Everyone fasting around me the past few days really has triggered a lot. Im eating less and losing some weight and I can't bring myself to eat. I'm hungry but nothing sounds good anyway. So I'll just keep myself busy I guess.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

I think my plant is trying to communicate with me

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

How many steps per day do you aim for?

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Everything has been so toxic lately.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

@perfect_skinny_ Can you share some high protein snacks items please? 😊 I need to start high protein again. I'm really struggling lately

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

@perfect_skinny_ Ohhh. It's probably over a certain amount then. We get groceries(for 4 people) delivered.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

😭🥶

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

The problem..... I've seen over 10 counselors in the past 8ish (?) Years. They have all made me feel worse.

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

Thinking off seeing a counselor. I'm starting to fall into a deep pit

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

I want to be done breastfeeding so I can lose weight. By little one isn't ready to be done. It's so hard. I almost had a panic attack today. I just feel over-touched1

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

I just want to be at my lowest weight again

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

The thoughts of how I want to kill myself keep coming to my head

[🌸🌸 @thin_desires_]

So fucking hurt...