Craig Bender

World's #1 Father of Five Girls

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

I was giggling just taking the picture and not a single German thought it was funny. I mean, come on!

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

New clothing color for the egocentric, embittered, and exploitative emperors and empresses. #fucktrump

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Dear Heavenly Father,

Please grant Richard Dawkins the years to publish a 50th-anniversary edition of The Selfish Gene (and worldwide celebratory events) —so he may continue proving you don’t exist.

Amen.

P.S. - Yes, this time request includes Lala Ward.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

That’s a “G”, right?

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Friends don’t let friends use “myriad” without a preceding “a” or a proceeding “of”.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Governments should give the same, if not better, tax incentives to companies that use free and open software. Would do more for national security than any of the current security theatre mitigations.

More eyes, less lies.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Explica Lemuroidas

[Joakim 🌹🇳🇴🇪🇺 @joakial_]

Where do you fall on this scale?

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

@joakial_ 7

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

"And starring Craig Bender as the 'we are all pretty sure he is gay' office colleague."

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

@difficultpatty Up top or lobby? Assuming a restroom was involved, but not judging.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Here’s this year’s present from Maggie. I think you would have loved it. 😊

I miss you every single day.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

This, on 8-Track, while be driven around in a 1976 Ford Granada by my mom.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Sometimes you just need to know someone misses seeing you.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Eurythmics make the @GoveeOfficial T2 backlight shine.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Wishing you and yours a very Samuel L. Jackson Christmas.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

As an owner/operator, I can’t say it has never not been hard, but it has been enjoyable. I’ll give it 4/5 stars.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

I hate to brag, but I’m probably the best laundry Dad of all time.

I’m the BLDOAT.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

@SusanWiseBauer @aishatyler I don’t doubt that, but one can dream. 😅

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

I’d be really happy if @SusanWiseBauer had @aishatyler do the narration for her fantastic books. The History of the Ancient World/ Medieval World are amazing, the girl Dad in me wishes they were narrated by a female.

[Craig Bender @thinguy]

Why are the Cowboys wearing The Netherlands flag on their helmets?