Taylor Malarkey

What's cooler than being cool?!... CHRONIC DEPRESSION!

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

Grass fed beef, pork giblets, eye of newt, chicken.

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

People think doctors get paid well because they learn so much about the body, but imo it's more because they learn all the things that can kill you at any moment and manage to live without constant anxiety.

[Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @NotHoodlum]

Bye 👋 Tulsi, take Kyrsten Sinema with you.

[Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters]

Cilantro is delicious and the soap people are just addicted to drama

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

A planned vacation is just work in the shape of fun.

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@nickdakota3 @CJT3 @MostlyBrockish @sammeh543 @TWP_Videos Nah, you're confusing the IRS with "literally any job"

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

Literally just had to shake my neighbors hand this morning. It was terrible.

[Ken Klippenstein @kenklippenstein]

RT to raise awareness

[The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln]

Who wore it best?

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@sureshbtweets @chipfranklin What is this situation? Never seen it before.

[Croy no Boys @BadBoyCroy]

The funniest alpha white male trait in America right now is being proudly afraid of all American cities.

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

Alex Jones isn't actually alive, he's just possessed by the ghost of Alex Jones.

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@calebsaysthings What ended it?

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@ben_rosen

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@FOX10Phoenix This tweet is tonally all over the fuckin place, lol

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

I love Pixar movies but goddamn when you see it laid out like this, it really is some hokey, formulaic bias.

[🔆Lesbian Cavalry Officer Elize 🥥🌴🇺🇦🇦🇲 @Tankgorl]

straight people seeing another straight ‘forbidden love’ movie for the 10’000th time: “wow, imagine not being able to love or be who you want, that’d be awful. Anyhow, time to protest at my school board for daring to have queer young adult books in their library”

[Zito @_Zeets]

The public mourning during 9/11 is even more curious after the last few years where thousands of people died each day and instead of that being a great tragedy as well, there were demands to go back to work and to learn to live with that level of death.

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@RudeDawgRules @UnnecRoughness @OldRowOfficial What are they saying?

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@ceneblock @BadMedicalTakes What are they?

[Taylor Malarkey @thirdbestmartin]

@Xavier312_ @CultureCrave Apparently there's already an Avater 2 & 3? Did I miss those coming out or something?