Kayla Schmidt

Creative Nonfiction writer/amateur cut-and-paster/ travel enthusiast/teeth-obsessed/hotter than a tator tot on top of a casserole. Uffda.

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

Like Salem, I am a lot.

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

these people literally just want a drag show

[KSV @KSVesq]

I've found my new email sign-off.

[Stephanie Mencimer @smencimer]

just to recap: Scotus this term has said the president is king, the administrative state is dead, and bribing public officials is ok. The justices have created a powderkeg, where people can't solve their problems through the government or hold anyone in charge accountable.

[kelsey mckinney @mckinneykelsey]

mr president wake up it's time for crimes

[Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama]

Hey can someone do something.

[Liz Charboneau @lizchar]

actually babe, you can't get mad at me. that was an official act

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

I can’t believe the Supreme Court just ruled that the president can sleep outdoors in a public space.

[Chris Evangelista @cevangelista413]

Americans should have the entire week off for the 4th this year as a kind of “going out of business” blow-out

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

[to the tune of Bowling for Soup’s “1985”] since when did cream rinse become conditioner?

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

The two “Broadway in Bismarck” shows this season were Jesus Christ Superstar and Pretty Woman.

Or “sex-workers-put-up-with-the-chaos-caused-by-a-powerful-man-that-is-somehow-unaware-everyone-is-trying-to-exploit-him”

[Mike McFeely @McFeely_Inforum]

Few people read Bette Grande’s tripe on our website, but I have to point out this gem from today’s effort:

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

sorry we’re not doing “apolitical” anymore. Just say you’re a horrible person and go

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

In yet another astonishing development, Bismarck has opened its first tramp park.

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

We’re a Premiere Video family. The kids section was in the corner. Until they rearranged and that spot became the porn room.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

It’s Friday. You’re 12 years old, school is out, and you’re about to pick up a copy of Mario Kart for your Super Nintendo along with the latest VHS release at Video Magic.

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

@flickertailtime ‘Twas over before it burgum

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

hey sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave

[Kayla Schmidt @thisissassycat]

@punished_tar “Brutal punishment” is my hometown. Original tweet is clearly unhinged, and North Dakota has plenty of problems, but I’m so bored of this discourse about Minot as a wasteland. Only boring people are bored.