John Alston

Actor, Comedian, Writer, Board-Certified Crowd Estimator (Studied at The Second City & iO West).
You've seen me on numerous TV shows...you just didn't know it.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@leonardofeldman @Newsweek "Insurrection or grift, what's your favorite form of corruption?"

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@knxnews Are you being held hostage?

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@lucyshow11 J. Edgar Hoover

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@GigaBeers Mother Teresa.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@washingtonpost Now it really is spirit airlines. #spiritairlines

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@atrupar Looking at disc jockey J.D. Roberts I'm now hungry for tandoori chicken.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@Pyfeus @BillOReilly Yup. Bill O'Reilly. Exactly.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

This is exactly why we need a ballroom! And a curling rink.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@washingtonpost "There's been a shooting! Is there a reporter in the house?"
"I'm a super influencer."
"I have a cable show where I spew my opinions."
"I copy down whatever anyone says and don't check it."
"I have a podcast."
"I like to think I'm a journalist.
#WHCA @whca #NationalPretzelDay

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@THR Ah, yes, the ol' extraordinary 15-week milestone.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

I'm beginning to think #EricSwalwell is not gonna be governor.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@greta @JudgeJeanine @USAttyPirro Stay tuned for the boxed wine chugging contest.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

I want to see them open the hatch to #Artemis, Rip Taylor pop out, and spray the Navy divers with confetti. #Orion #NASA

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@SteveHiltonx Deport all tossers.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@JBFlint @Variety Awesome dive into the vault. My only response is the Hudson Brothers Razzle Dazzle Show.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@nypost Say what you want, but at least he's got the legs for it.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@wjcarter It's gonna be the biggest bomb since Allen Media Group sank a bunch of TV stations it bought.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@THR "For our premiere, we were lucky enough to book the ghost of funnyman Morty Gunty."

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@DanAshleyABC7 @abc7newsbayarea Dan, I couldn't agree more. Which is why tomorrow I'll be enjoying the Lamb of God with a delicious mint sauce.

[John Alston @thisjohnalston]

@FoxNews And don't get me wrong, I would have nailed Mary Magdalene in a Judean minute.