Amanda Crawford

Keep Calm And Quote Things To Death

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

BRB, retweeting this adorable little avocado plushie until I win it from the @AvosFromMexico House of Goodness garage sale. 💚 #SparkTheGood #SXSW#Sweepstakes #AvoPlush https://t.co/am19McJnJf https://t.co/thMwmtBLhX

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

Aren’t these little triangle pillows cute? 🥰 @AvosFromMexico is giving away all kinds of good stuff from their IRL House of Goodness! #SparkTheGood #SXSW #Sweepstakes #AvoPillows https://t.co/XNGLivIRgF

[The Dirty Team @partywithdirty]

GIVEAWAY: TWO (2) #SXSW 2023 MUSIC WRISTBANDS ($298 VALUE)

How do you win?

1) RT this

2) Follow @partywithdirty on Twitter

That’s it. Winner (one winner gets both wristbands) announced 7pm Sunday 2/19. Go!

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

End of an error.

[Richard Marx @richardmarx]

What @GeraldoRivera is saying is “Grab ‘em by the pussy,” numerous sexual assault cases, Central Park 5, mocking Gold Star families, “shithole countries,” separation of families, “Mexicans are rapists” and dozens more were ok with him. But NOW he’s not a fan. Fuck you, Geraldo.

[Mau @Miss_Mausie]

I’m stunned after watching this #60Minutes interview with @SpeakerPelosi thinking about the fact that her young staff knew to kill the lights, barricade the door, and hide under the table after growing up doing those drills in their classrooms.

[Josh Gad @joshgad]

Imagine someone u love is fast asleep in bed after a long day of working to help others. Imagine that while she is asleep armed strangers break down her door & shoot her in her bed 8 times. If this was ur daughter or sister, u would want justice. #BreonnaTalyor deserves the same.

[Ron Perlman @perlmutations]

Since people are lining up to vote in Louisville, Kentucky today, seems like a good time to arrest Breonna Taylor’s murderers. #SayHerName

[C0nf0und.tr4sh @Mmmkay11072618]

#BreonnaTalyor ‘s KILLERS ARE STILL ROAMING FREE. #BreonnaTalyor STILL HASNT RECEICED JUSTICE. #BreonnaTalyor ‘s LIFE AND STORY STILL FUCKING MATTER. #BreonnaTalyor #BreonnaTalyor #BreonnaTalyor #BreonnaTalyor #BreonnaTalyor

[Millennial Geek @millenial_geek]

We’re not even close to being done #BreonnaTalyor

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

@FoodNetwork So glad a guy who doesn't know the difference between Chinese and Japanese won with his "Kung Food Fight" cake. This is the kind of tone-deaf content I expect from @FoodNetwork and @CakeBossBuddy. @cakebuds #BigTimeBake

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

Raise a glass for the @HachetteUS employees who walked out today in protest over Woody Allen's book. 🥂 #believeallwomen #powerofprotest #metoo #fuckwoodyallen

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

Hey @Gothamist, it's really hard to read your articles with these @Xbox ads smack in the middle of the text. 🙄 #badvertising #webdesignfail

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

Isn't this how World War Z started @maxbrooksauthor? Two people in China were diagnosed with plague... https://t.co/yYgUebqAut #zombies #worldwarz

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

@spotify has a lot of nerve playing a Chik-fil-A commercial while I'm listening to a drag queen playlist. 🙄 #fuckchikfila #areyouserious #sashayaway

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

@lyft you really need to havE an option upfront to specify that you have an animal with you. Last week I got cancelled, driven pass and ghosted by three different drivers while trying to get my dog to the vet.

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

⁦@lyft⁩ this guy is just sitting at the corner ignoring my texts after I asked if it was ok that we have a dog. He won’t cancel the ride. Dog has a neurology appt.

[Amanda Crawford @thispandarants]

@hulu why did you lighten up @mindykaling ?? She looks like. Light-skinned telenovela actress. 🧐