Alanna Thelen

I teach people how to put on their pants for a living. And somehow I ended up in Idaho??

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Kid: "Can you find me a big stick?"
Me: "Sure, Teddy Roosevelt!"

Once again no one thought I was quite as hilarious as I thought I was

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

The homeland is doing great things 🙌🏼

[Lt. Governor Peggy Flanagan @LtGovFlanagan]

Today, @GovTimWalz and I took executive action to protect access to gender-affirming health care.

With this Executive Order, we are saying to our LGBTQ+ relatives: We see you, we value you, we love you. Here in Minnesota, you are safe in our communities as your authentic selves.

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

@mack_jenae @NoahKahan I thought you meant personally for a hot second and I was about to be like 🤯 haha

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Being an adult is just refilling your Brita filter all day every day

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

2/2 times I’ve had Covid now all I want is a hug which coincidentally happens to be the no. 1 thing I cannot do

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

Baseball is back. And no one is more excited than the Ice Cream in Tiny Baseball Hat industry.

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

My love language is REI gift cards

[Janai Nelson @JNelsonLDF]

Today is one of the most hallowed in the history of American democracy. On #BloodySunday people determined to chart their own destiny thru the political process laid their lives on the line at a Selma bridge-crossing to deliver democracy to a country at war with its constitution.

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Really just here for #Fexi tbh

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Yo i need to catch up on euphoria just so I can normalize my sleep schedule again

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Dipping cookies in milk? Me get it, but who has da time?

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

“The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you can play the next Wordle.” -Me @ me

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Dating in Boise, Idaho is seeing a cute guy but then realizing that statistically, he probably voted for Tr*mp

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

DA COOKIE MONSTER GIFT GUIDE FINALLY HERE! Use dis comprehensive list to find perfect last-minute gift for everyone on your list:

1. A cookie

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

🎶 All I want for Christmas, is [a therapist] 🎵

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

@rejectedjokes so if you want to be my date for that real wedding hmu it’s in Minneapolis in February which sounds worse than it actually is. Maybe.

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

I had a dream last night I was at a lodge with a restaurant for a wedding that weekend and @rejectedjokes was there playing in a band as a guest star and I was going to ask him to be my wedding date and then I chickened out 😢 Still sad @ my subconscious

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Jamie Tartt doo doo doo doo doo

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

I just want to be friends with every person from every season of The Great British Bake Off is that so much to ask?! @greatbbakeoff

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

@minnelyssa I feel like I use all these in their own distinct situations

[Alanna Thelen @thkidstheydance]

Kohl’s smells like your aunt’s house in the most endearing way possible