b

“mildly attractive and extremely grating”

[b @thr04ty]

lana del rey’s pussy may taste like pepsi cola but mine tastes like mcdonald’s sprite™

[⭑.ᐟ @flvmeprincesss]

it’s all coming full circle for girls who made their dolls scissor at an early age

[Finch @blckbrdquitter]

move back in with your parents

[uncle k8lyn ??? @katttesquad]

i actually just wish everyone was nice

[27. @dimvji]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use. the worst part is everything else

[Elena 🌼 @Glaucium_]

los dueños de perros: me compré este poodle que parece un osito por 1000€ en el criadero más exclusivo

los dueños de gatos: lo atropellé

[xdn @xdncolonthree]

they replaced my beloved oxford dictionary embed with cool etymology charts n stuff with ai slop rambling for no reason

[Sam @samanthacp_]

vancouver started stage 2 water restrictions on may 1 this year but ok

[b @thr04ty]

Me when my roommate and their evil boyfriend used my™ hair dye

[She’s Fishy ➐ @ShesFishy]

oh!

[Angry Possum ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ @AngryPossum69]

Capitalism breeds innovation.

[sammm ☆ @onlysammms]

living with your parents in your 20s is like.... i'm grateful to not have to pay for groceries. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful to have a roof over my head and not have to pay rent. i have to get out of here. i'm grateful i'm so fucking grateful. i have to get out of here

[Jasmine @bustanutkeaton]

There used to be a format that solved this problem called mass market paperback but now everyone wants their romantasy in 15 lb faux leather hardback with rainbow holographic gilt edges

[The Goddamned Penguin @who_shot_jgr]

writing an e-mail and getting a prompt from AI "this sentence could be more concise"

no. i am verbose. i am loquacious. i am long-winded and often redundant even. you machine, do not tell me how to form my words

[teetee🎀🧁 @lionessenced]

you lot are afraid to admit that ur disability does infact disable u which is why we are left with all these useless dishonest conversations each month

[ghostfacers shady facts @stonernatural]

dean and cas: but we’re both boys…

sam subplot: https://t.co/oGVyA8jMFF

[Nick @NickZararis]

Sidney Crosby, inshallah

[𝘑𝘢𝘮𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘙 @sometimes317]

Every time I look in the eyes of a circle K I see a Mac’s and I am overcome with grief for the owl

[Jayden 🇨🇦🇳🇴🇨🇴 @GRIT0DESAUDADE]

yall know i’m canada down

[tonsured pussy @sweetseaslug]

Idk if i like the idea that only gay actors should play gay roles…. I dont want stanley tucci to be homeless

[hay @spookyghourl]

Y'all know I'm Canada down

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

yall know i’m canada down