HOT GUY BEHIND ME IN LINE AT TARGET: Nice dress!
ME (who's been married a billion years): Better than sweatpants, amiright?
ME: *Looks down to see he's wearing sweatpants*
ME: Except yours, obviously
HOT GUY: Um.
ME: Oh god.
ME: *Runs away and forgets the La Croix*
SCENE.
@USAA I can't believe I even bought BUSINESS insurance from you for my law firm last month. I feel like such a fool. "Yeah, they're the most expensive, but they take care of me." When did you become a #scam, @usaa?
34 years with @USAA ‐ home, auto, life, business, & personal property. Got hit by a teen 2 weeks ago - he totaled both our cars. Today, @usaa gave me $17k for a Jeep I bought for 26k 10 months ago. Quote from claims: "KBB is too high." Good luck keeping my business. #usaa#scam
You were an amazing company 20, even 15 years ago, @Usaa. I wasn't even liable, but you've treated me so poorly in the past 12 hours, I'm making calls tomorrow.l to shop around. You saved 7k today. You'll lose 10k per year for it.
Just one day after ending "The Late Show" on CBS, Stephen Colbert returned to TV — to host a public access show with rocker Jack White in Monroe, Michigan.
Appearances by Jeff Daniels, Eminem and Steve Buscemi.
Keep posting this so people don’t forget how truly bad this event was.
Don’t let people gaslight you into thinking it was peaceful and worthy of 1500+ pardons and slush fund payoffs.
Politicians: “We’re worried about declining birth rates.”
Women: “Cool. So are we getting paid maternity leave, affordable childcare, postpartum support, better maternal healthcare, and policies that make raising kids financially possible?”
Politicians: “Best I can do is a website called moms. gov telling exhausted mothers to breastfeed, eat vegetables, and optimize their lifestyles while offering basically zero structural support.”
Women: “…” 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
@GovStitt Are trans people responsible when some gets drunk at like 9 am and nearly kills but definitely permanently disables someone while going 80 mph through a neighborhood?
The fact that almost EVERY former confederate state is moving to completely eliminate Black representatives almost immediately after the SCOTUS decision should be more than enough proof that voting rights still need protection and racism is far from gone in this country.