gary

carbon based lifeform

[jerry @ANerdNamedJerry]

like bro

[💖💫🐰🌸🐰💫💖 // WORKING ON COMMS @BUNKlNS]

like PLEASE unmute this it will honestly make your day

[naomi @udontnaomii]

how i look when i’m the only one in the group that wants to substance abuse

[dashiel @new_dash_snow]

tapped big man on the shoulder like they work at the power plant together

[csz @cszabla]

my favorite binface policy is “reverse brexit by inviting other european countries to join the united kingdom”

[conor @conor_brn]

Walking to the pub and could weep with joy at how many midweek pintsmen pintswomen and pintsthem are filling the beer gardens on a random Wednesday. Keep fighting the good fight you beautiful bastards

[Jack Subpar @SuisizeMe]

In my entire life I've only heard the phrase "boys will be boys" used when like a 7 year old breaks his leg trying to jump off a roof using an umbrella as a parachute

[Ciroc Obama @frogg_gurl]

That first night home after traveling is like ok I’m about to jerk my shit smoove off

[Karim Wafa-Al Hussaini @DrKarimWafa]

Arigato Aleikum

[sev @t0rmentedd]

She’s just using me for my below average penis and my slightly overweight body and my empty bank account

[LBark @franzsherbert]

This may seem harsh but any experienced teacher knows that randomly killing yourself in the middle of a lesson is sometimes the only way to get the student to learn

[Kensetsu @Kensetsu6]

I heard a gun shot. I texted my neighbor.

[Grant Slatton @GrantSlatton]

have a rat getting into my attic somehow

calling exterminators to get quotes

one guy sounds like rats slept with his wife or something, guy was getting angry just talking about rats

found my contractor

[Tristin Hopper @TristinHopper]

I was an extremely guilty child, constantly wracked with shame. I'm happy to report that this trait has not translated to my daughter, who just fumbled a large watermelon, watched it explode on the ground, and declared "oh well, it was heavy."

[Yolo Sowlo @yolosowlo]

The first film ever made had people terrified in 1896 because the train dog looked real. It is now confirmed that in 2026 the traindog is real.

[WORLD CULTURE 🌐 @pedestrian]

Every single painting he drops is an instant classic

[sensitive young hetaira @sensualhoplite]

russian man at my friend’s hostel describe alcohol as a lubricant for the conversational sphincter and then fell down the stairs head first after several negronis

[❥ hazel ︻デ═一 @BluebriarArts]

Just one whammy after another holy shit