Tiff Jones

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

We're gonna need it. https://t.co/nbQr9yaP45

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

We're all living @drunkhistory in real time. #Election2016

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Nation’s Optimists Need To Shut The Fuck Up Right Now https://t.co/VxklTmy5hV #ElectionNight

[Eugene Mirman @EugeneMirman]

If you turn the volume off on Trump during a speech, he always looks like he's doing the Macarena wrong.

[Victor Madu @GOAT_vicc]

I feel like Donald Trump is the voice of all the silent racists across America who are afraid to be racist in public.

[Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA]

no matter how it ends, the fact that Donald Trump is halfway to 270 electoral votes is the most shameful moment in the history of our nation

[Eater Austin @EaterAustin]

Bufalina Due opens up on January 16 https://t.co/gAUH0VtzqI

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

It’s January 9th. Only two more weeks until the Christmas presents I bought on Etsy arrive!

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

It is an international embarrassment that nearly 20 percent of kids in America are living in poverty.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

Where are all the campaigns to lower awareness? There's some stuff we all know too much about.

[Live Oak Brewing Co. @LiveOakBrewing]

The day has come! Our first can delivery, and to none other than Steve at Party Barn. Thanks for… https://t.co/y11cyPP5KL

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

In America today, we not only have massive wealth and income inequality, but a power structure which protects that inequality.

[Alamo Drafthouse ATX @drafthouse]

A note from Nicolas Cage: https://t.co/lW01B9Jkg0 https://t.co/xFlxMRMSfB

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

My dog is like if the concept of "nap time" had a body.

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

I need a Chill Man. He'd be like a hype man, but he'd say things like: "Yes you're right, but just drop it, dude."

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

The best thing about this year so far is that "2015" is super easy to correct to "2016" if you write it by accident.