The Zeroth Tim

You're probably here because I said something funny, stupid, or both. Either way, there's plenty more where that came from.| Nashville, TN

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

"Joey, you ever seen a basketball team fight on a plane?"

[Jonathan Hardison @WBRC6Hardison]

NEW: Flight that appears to be the Auburn men's basketball team heading to Houston diverted back to Auburn this afternoon. Air Traffic Control audio we've obtained shows a pilot in that airspace telling ATC "we have a bunch of basketball players fighting"
We've reached out to Auburn University and Auburn police for confirmation or comment

[Jon Gabriel @exjon]

Post a picture YOU took. Just a pic. No description

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@naeriface Lemme pack a fork real quick

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@naeriface Do you offer drone delivery?

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@crotchner2

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Well that sucks. Adding a predator was going to make it entertaining.

[JRF @JRFBoy]

“Mr. Piker, the guards inform me that you’re 32 years old, yet you dress like a teenager. Why is that?”

“It’s…it’s how I express myself. Holy fucking shit, dude!”

“You were a tubby boy, weren’t you? Flabby youth. Thought you could relive it; this time better, thinner.”

“…”

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Pats trading up to draft a guy from Utah so Vrabel has someone to talk to about multiple wives

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Microplastics are the spice of life

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

When they fact check a joke

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

We're going to send someone to space to make memes. The first ever Jestronaut.

[Trung Phan @TrungTPhan]

NASA ran a study on a potential trip to Mars and found the most important trait for team dynamics was humor

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@crotchner2 Vomit charging is the innovation that new phones lack

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@Bubola This morning. Pcb.

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Some problems are universal.

[Latest in space @latestinspace]

#NEWS 🚨: Artemis II crew experienced issues with Outlook this morning and had to ask ground crew for assistance

"We have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one is working"

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@redsteeze Apoolo 13

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

@naeriface The 80s music video which must not be named

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

They're hitting the vapes!

[New York Post @nypost]

Squirrels are 'vaping' e-cigarettes after mistaking fruity aromas for food https://t.co/yqJV7Hrqhu

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Even the aliens are fleeing from the commie mayor

[New York Post @nypost]

Eerie trio of UFOs spotted 'chasing each other' over New York City: video https://t.co/KQAvW74Ome

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

Call him Daniel Ocean after a robbery like this

[Ian Rapoport @RapSheet]

The #Colts are locking in their QB, finalizing a deal with Daniel Jones to secure the most important position, per me and @TomPelissero.

It’s a 2-year, $100M contract done by his agents at @AthletesFirst. The biggest two-year deal in NFL history.

[The Zeroth Tim @Timacious_D]

The tunnel elves of hidden knowledge

[Esoteric Technologist @DoormanForCats]

Hobby tunneling unlocks the hidden genius within