Tim Florian

☯︎

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Sometimes I’ll think to myself, “What would Jesus do?” And then I go get some chill time with the boys. 😎

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

I definitely don’t want to be reincarnated into a fish or an octopus or something like that because I love blankets & burritos too much.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@thebeary I hit up La Palma before & I feel like I should’ve included more variety in my order. What do you like from them?

Also Sonoratown made me feel like Anton Ego taking a bite of Remy’s ratatouille. Instant elite comfort food spot.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@MarkVizcarra Happy New Year!! 🥳

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@elleflowrs My feelings exactly.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Going to the theater with kids reminds why I don’t want kids. We could be at the climax of the movie they’ll be like, “My eyeballs are on fire because I ate a bag of Takis & rubbed some Taki dust on my eyelid to see what would happen. Can you take me to the hospital?”

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Y’all somehow get back to your seats just in time to watch the ending & they’ll say, “I threw up. ☹️”

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

You’ll be in the car ready to go & they’ll say, “Can we go back to the movie? I feel better. I forgot I had an open chocolate bar in my pocket that I’ve been saving for 2 weeks in case of emergencies like this. I rubbed the chocolate over the Taki dust & now it doesn’t burn. 🙂”

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

The more I watch Bob’s Burgers, the more I’m convinced that Linda Belcher is one of the greatest people to have ever existed.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Gonna print this out & keep a copy in my wallet.

[emily ♡ @folkloresaber]

hello besties

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@keysmcgee Doctor. 🤝

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

I really miss the social distancing part of waiting in lines.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Plz take the time to look through this! Probably the most important thing you’ll see today.

[Katie Goldin 🐜 @KatieGoldin]

Ok. I don't know who needs to hear this, but buckle up. Here's the deal. A thread 🧵

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

I Am ✨AMAZING✨

& you can too. 😎👍

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@PrisCarballin I’m dead! 💀

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

My tia’s words to me as we’re saying goodbye to each other:

“Be good! And if you can’t be good, be safe.”

Words to live by.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Did you know nachos were named after a dude nicknamed “Nacho?” Imagine that’s how we got the word “cheeseburger?” I just think the world needs more people named Cheeseburger. 🤷‍♂️

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@thebeary Try an AeroPress next. It’s an awesome brewing method! I bounce back & forth between that & pour overs.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

Kendrick wins.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

I need new music. The last new album that got me excited was Samm Henshaw’s Untidy Soul. And that came out three months ago! If you’ve been holding out on us, please right your wrong & put us all on. 🧐

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

New Vince Staples is dope too tho.

[Tim Florian @timflorian]

@thebeary Digging into all these right now. 🤓