To immigrant parents raising Black children in the UK: we cannot afford to parent on autopilot.
I keep saying that where a child grows up matters. The latest GCSE results are another reminder of that. There are significant differences in educational outcomes depending on where children live.
But for our children, there are other realities we cannot ignore.
Black children are disproportionately represented in parts of the youth justice and care systems. Black boys in particular are more likely to experience stop and search and racial profiling. We also know that Black children can experience adultification, harsher interpretations of their behaviour and disproportionate exclusions from school.
And there is another issue I see far too often: a Black child with undiagnosed ADHD/Autism or other neurodevelopmental needs being described as “disruptive”, “defiant”, “aggressive” or simply badly behaved when somebody should be asking what is going on for this child?
This isn’t about teaching our children that the world is against them. Absolutely not.
But it’s about recognising the world they are growing up in and preparing them to thrive in it.
And that requires intentional parenting. Please stay involved in your children’s lives. Know their friends, know what they are doing online, know what is happening at school, attend parents’ evenings, read the emails the school sends you and challenge things when something doesn’t seem right. If you suspect additional needs, don’t wait years hoping they will grow out of it. Ask questions and seek support.
And please invest in their education wherever you reasonably can. If they’re struggling and you can afford tutoring, get the tutor. If you can’t, find out what additional support the school or community can provide. Encourage reading, expose them to opportunities and help them discover what they’re good at. Build their confidence and aspirations.
I know immigrant life in the UK can be exhausting. People are working incredibly hard just to keep households running. But this is not the season to become so consumed with providing for our children that we have no time left to actually raise them.
Your presence matters just as much as your provision.
We cannot control every disadvantage our children may encounter. But we can make damn sure they leave our homes with every advantage we were able to give them.
Why are so many women sooo angry? They won. They got everything they wanted. Men have never been doing this badly, and women have never been doing this well. They make more, they have the majority of jobs, they are the majority of college graduates, (UCLA undergrad is 60% female), they make more money, have much lower rates of suicide, addiction, and alcoholism, and live longer. They won: they took over all men-only spaces, they took over the Boy Scouts, they ended men’s bathrooms, they can fly fighter planes and be in combat. Marriage is optional, divorce is no-fault, they win 99% of the custody battles, they can control fertility at will, and they can’t get drafted. We are all living in the female future they promised.
Teenage girl meet me for city centre say make she give me money make I help her buy vape.
I smiled politely & shook my head but inside I was screaming “get away from me you daughter of Jezebel sent by my village people to bring me back to Umulogho😤”
can someone who is much older than me, has seen a lot of life etc etc please confirm that honesty and integrity do in fact produce positive outcomes in the long run?
cuz I’m starting to get real cynical…….
I was speaking to a 22 year old colleague on the innate human need for companionship as a major reason for selecting a mate, long story short her reaction was a gesture shy of absolute disgust.
I just kept quiet.
Time is a companion.
@SIGMAPROFESSOR Initially frustrated at a point thinking I was the problem, thought I come off judgemental.
Even after I start the statement with “this is not about you” they end up making it about themselves. later realised it was not me. They’re just self absorbed
Tiny few are different tho.