tim

while I’m young and while I’m able all I gotta do is…

[Know Your Meme @knowyourmeme]

On this day 12 years ago, Twitter user 'LuckyLuciano17k' posted a photograph of himself with the caption "You know I had to do it to em".

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

we got 5 dollar gas and they're just dumping heavy cream into the mountain dew its lit

[witty, irreverent, about nothing @makakiavelli2]

as a ~2020 essential worker~ the way ppl talk about this “quarantine” has always cracked me up. y'all were not held captive, you were at my job harassing me!

[🌾🌾dyatlov pastiche 🌾🌾 @muffinlab]

i'm slouching in my chair and watching videos on my phone with the brightness all the way up. i'm dehydrated, my skin is dry and i'm abusing advil. my fit is trash too

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

How it feels pretending to agree with people so they stop talking

[Hugh “The Wrench” Janus MBA @glizzy__goblin_]

So it’s illegal now to be in a dark room with ur bros, tarps off? Literally 1984

[tim @timistweeting]

@big_business_ Bro makes music for Redditors

[Sean Padraig McCarthy @SeanMcCarthyCom]

Bill Burr: And another thing I don’t think corporations should dump chemical runoff in our drinking water

Guy on Twitter: Bill Burr has gone full communist

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

Yeah they're called the mountain goats, but it's really just one guy. He knows three chords and six trillion bible verses. His songs are all about breakups or drug addiction and he always sounds like he started singing on accident and isn't sure how to stop. He's my favorite guy.

[tim @timistweeting]

@QuetzalPhoenix All they used to do was argue. So, yeah, that’s the guy who used to chill with Patrice. You clearly have never listened to O&A.

[✳️Ⓐ Armed Joy 🔫💣 @ArmedJ0y]

Half this website rn be like:

[fresh @fauxfresh]

Gon scare the hoes with this one but yea I’m sliding

[DeAngelo, First of his Name™ @DeAnthrax]

The “Who do you think you are I am” dude stayed having bars. “Hate me or love me, you watched. That’s all you could do.” Is CRAZYYYYY BARSSSSSS