Tim Leak

I tell jokes and I do stuff. I sometimes tell people about that stuff. This is, sometimes, where I do that.

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Today, I turn 30. Last night, I worked @13thGate haunted house, and it was good. I didn’t ask for the night off because that’s how I wanted to say goodbye to my 20’s, the way I lived them, dressed like a lunatic and making everyone in the room VERY uncomfortable

[Tim Leak @timleak]

@joshaaronwatts Next on the playlist, a true classic, aged to perfection,

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I’m sorry but sometimes the funniest part of an open micer’s set is the host giving them the light after a joke fails to land

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I’m doing a thing you should see it’ll be fun

[Tim Leak @timleak]

#SpringtheLeak

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Got my Covid booster today, so if my arm looks swollen, it’s because I’m fucking jacked

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Man, today is going well; I found a weird bug! Look at this guy!

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Didn’t realize this was up for debate, but I’ll stand by it

[Wes Ross @wesross22]

Lotta comics don’t realize @timleak could put any of us in a body bag and there is nothing we could do about it.
#farmstrong #springtheleak

[Tim Leak @timleak]

@PearlRiverFlow @devindrome Stephens Fries?

[Will Watkins @WilliamAWatkins]

"Ain't no rule says a dog can't be King of England!”

- Heir Bud

[Tim Leak @timleak]

@DragonFoxStar I hope y’all feel better! Are y’all near Mandeville these days?

[Tim Leak @timleak]

MANDEVILLE THIS IS HAPPENING

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I’m trying to be a himbo, but I don’t know how

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I just cut the sleeves off a t-shirt and it became my new favorite t-shirt. I’m not allowed to say ‘bro’ ironically anymore

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Well it isn’t a multiverse of mental health, that’s for sure

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Superpositioning is a physicist’s favorite sex move

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Those weird ‘tricks to get rid of hiccups’ seem really good at keeping you occupied long enough for your hiccups to go away

[Tim Leak @timleak]

Mashed potatoes are an underrated sandwich ingredient

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I’ve been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift to try and understand the plight of the late-20’s white woman

[Tim Leak @timleak]

I love impressions. Get some alcohol in me, I do a great impression of a drunk person