timothyjlambert

Writer, bon vivant, manny, and man's best friend's best friend.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@WhiteHouse The autopen never would’ve made that stupid mistake.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@SecKennedy Other than “I am human garbage,” what are you really trying to say here?

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

Just watched A Different World Season 5 Episode 14 on Netflix and watched Dean Cain effortlessly being himself, and I wonder if he knows this credit is on his resume and is he proud? @deancain @msdebbieallen

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@PierceyWiercey_ @tryquinn But you probably don’t speak for all trans people, and your emotional reaction couldn’t possibly be the same as theirs, right?

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@PeteReceipts I volunteer as tribute to prove that Pete Buttigieg is really gay! I will make this epic and sexy sacrifice for our country.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@JDVance @marcorubio I’m surprised you’re not hosting Kimmel’s show, since you just hosted a dead man’s podcast before his body was even cold.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@Acyn

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

Just once, I’d like a woman in Genoa City to tell a man not to put his hands on her without being asked. #yr @YRInsider

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@CaseySHutch I miss Cody.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

It’s so nice of everyone in Genoa City to indulge Johnny’s fantasy about his imaginary sister, Katie. #YR

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@packbrewfan Hahahaha!

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

I remember a time when there was no cell reception at the Abbott Cabin. Now there’s a landline? Not so “rustic” anymore. #yr

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@NateSchatzline "Class project." Sure, Mary.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@Into_tweets Parting Glances was released in 1986, and Buddies sometime around then, too.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@johnnie_cakes @HoustonChron "...weird sexy mermaid moves..." hahaha! Now I kinda want to see it.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@DerrickBarry @RealFriendsMTV @MTV And how many people died to make this narcissistic sh*theap happen?

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@benshapiro I guess they didn’t offer literature courses at Harvard.

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@CNN I always assumed “Your Body is a Wonderland” was about Jake Gyllenhaal.

[Phillip @MajorPhilebrity]

If you’re in line to vote, STAY IN LINE

[timothyjlambert @timothyjlambert]

@laurenboebert Grace? Who is Grace? If she knows how to do your job and act like a humane and rational person, you might want to listen to her.