Tim Reilly

The Least Approachable Man on Earth.

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@BenMank77 I had the privilege of talking to Robert Duvall about him:
https://t.co/8qi1zfpZ84

[Victor Shi @Victorshi2020]

Take a minute to watch this heartfelt, beautiful 100th birthday message from President Biden to President Carter today. They are such decent, kind, and good humans & we need more people like them in politics & in our world.

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@yzfreedman I had a similar altercation with Mr. Coffee after he disabled my percolator in 2017. He still denies it, of course.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Reporter: Who will you vote for?

Voter: Kamala Harris

Reporter: Were you Democrats before?

Voter: I’m a Republican

Reporter: Why are you voting the other way?

Voter: Because she behaves more like a human

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

APPLE TV+: Our latest show stars four Oscar winners and costs $75M per episode. We have done zero advertising for it and it has been viewed by approximately 47 people.

NETFLIX: We’re excited to announce a seventh season of our most watched show, Airport Bathroom Toilet Camera.

[Ben Acker @bnacker]

Now here's my bonkers conspiracy theory: the owners of media outlets are rich people and are therefore partial to the candidate who caters to rich people. Let me know if you want to see my string board. It has one string on it.

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

Fever dream.

[Stephen Rodrick @stephenrodrick]

Dystopian romp.

[W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell]

I know I’m a weird messenger to be giving advice, but I truly mean this to be helpful, @JDVance.

Fire your whole team. They clearly hate you. This is TV production 101, and they failed it.

1) Someone is supposed to scout ahead and make sure everyone there is interested in being on camera AND excited to talk to you. And if your team finds out that no one at the place is interested in talking to you and some don’t even want to be on camera with you - situations that I’m sure you are used to by now - then your team needs to find another establishment.

2) Someone is supposed to prep you with names and talking points. This is especially true because, as you know, you are horrible at small talk. Your team must even know this by now. Your team has to give you follow up questions so you are ready to go. “What is your bestselling donut?” “What’s your favorite?” “What do you recommend?” “What’s your favorite part of your job?” “Do you eat too many donuts because you work here.” This is simple stuff. But again, I get that it is extremely hard for you to speak to humans. That’s why you need a better team.

3) in lieu of small talk, which I would recommend you skipping because you are - again - HORRIBLE at it, your team should have given you a pre decided order so you were ready for the “difficult task” of ordering donuts. Here are a few suggestions for next time. “I’ll take a dozen glazed.” “Just give me a dozen of your bestsellers.” “JUST FILL THE BOX WITH SPRINKLES THAT YOU SCRAP OFF OF SPRINKLE DONUTS, AAAAAARGH!!!”

That last one was a trick. If you believed it then you need more help than I even imagined.

The good news is I’ll happily take you on as a client to teach you how to appear more human, all for the price of one jabilliondee dollar bucks. Currently, there is a 1% discount. But I need your answer by… more

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@JScottMcGee Why are you unpopular with the Chicago Police Department?

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

These are my thoughts on calls for Biden to step aside. It is not long, but I took two days to write it because I wanted to digest everything being said.

For the Good of the Country, It’s Time For Some Pundits to Retire. https://t.co/sYLdIcnuM6

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

For those of y'all who don't have a dad around anymore, or never did, I love you and I'm proud of you. You are special as hell.

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@JScottMcGee I know what Kristi Noem would do...

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@iamdavidbyrne @JScottMcGee @tcm Beautifully put. No notes.

[Not a fascist @JScottMcGee]

@TCM peeps:

Here is a new 12-minute Original Production about how this party got started...

Produced and directed by me.
Edited by Rob Hampton of Splat Pictures.

#TCMHQ
#TCMParty

https://t.co/pOLJUmfXD7

[George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace]

One of the best ways to decide between two old guys is to pick the one who isn't a complete piece of shit and whatnot.

[Not a fascist @JScottMcGee]

Pleased as punch to share this.

Produced by @timrreilly, cut by D. Winter, featuring not just S. Spielberg and M.Scorsese, but also my close friend, Bruce Goldstein of @FilmForumNYC.

@tcm
#TCMHQ

https://t.co/i9Bu6xjGmf

[Not a fascist @JScottMcGee]

Hey @TCM faithful, you've got a fellow fan in Logan Roy (as well as film's first Hannibal Lecter).

#TCMHQ

https://t.co/jg7ShTCoEA

[Not a fascist @JScottMcGee]

Hey, at 7:50pm ET tonight, a new @TCM Original is airing, featuring two moviemaking gods.

#TCMHQ

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@Capperleaked MPB suuuuuuuucks

[Tim Reilly @timrreilly]

@BetsandPicksMMA Ridiculous