Tim Witten

Born in Welch, WV; raised in Richlands, VA; working in Blacksburg, VA and living in Roanoke, VA. my tweets are my own...

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Except for me.
I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

[VDOT @VaDOT]

But I have snow tires!
But I have 4WD!
But I grew up in [any state north of Virginia]!
But I can drive better than everyone else!
Just because you think you can handle driving in the snow, doesn't mean you should. Continue to stay off the roads so our crews can work safely.

[VDOT @VaDOT]

Parents & caregivers: looking for a way to keep the little ones entertained during snow days? Check out our 🥇 award-winning student activities (coloring pages, word ciphers, word searches + more) for the kids to enjoy! Fun for all ages!
➡️ https://t.co/eYWoHhpVDu

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

If you're having a bad day, here's the exact moment that Charlie Brown adopted Snoopy 75 years ago.

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

@emily_tweets @idiotcoolperson Dad card is in the mail…

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Happy birthday Michigan J Frog

[Blacksburg Transit @Ride_BT]

✨🎉 Happy New Year! 🎊🍾 There is no bus service today in Blacksburg or Christiansburg, but we will be back on reduced service tomorrow, January 2.🥳

[VA State Police @VSPPIO]

VSP looking for information on motorcyclist from Christmas Day

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

Little Drummer Boy is such a weird song…

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

MARY: Well, I just had a baby… in a barn. So, thanks to everyone who brought gifts. The gold, the perfumes. All things babies love.
Also the child who inexplicably played drums, like, right in my face.
This…this was great.

[Emily ™ @emily_tweets]

Whoever invented fruitcake was a psychopath

[The Onion @TheOnion]

CIA Realizes It’s Been Using Black Highlighters All These Year
https://t.co/vGsKzjt18Z

[Blacksburg Transit @Ride_BT]

Due to battery recalls impacting our electric buses, BT will make temporary weekday service adjustments starting this Spring Semester. Safety and reliability remain our top priorities. ➡️ Full details at https://t.co/hBH111V0Gt

[Blacksburg Transit @Ride_BT]

Electric bus battery recalls mean we must reduce charging capacity, leading to temporary weekday service changes starting this Spring Semester. Thank you for your patience and understanding. We’re committed to restoring full service asap➡️ Full details at https://t.co/hBH111V0Gt

[Sammy Oakey @fabfourfan]

I can remember when my grandparents took my sister and I to the old Bailey’s Cafeteria. In the succeeding years, our region had a Morrison’s, S & W, and S & S. But I always thought K & W would be around forever . . . #EndOfAnEra

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

How do I connect my Teddy Ruxpin to ChatGPT?

[West Virginia Record @WVRecord]

Man says cemetery company buried his wife improperly @StoneMorLP @Real_StoneMor @DuffieldLovejoy https://t.co/Ne8Zy5oxft

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

@RobotThomas I saw it in 1980 when it was rereleased; I was 8; it was terrifying.

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

@designbysoapbox @jjosephmiller Joe; When is the Derby?

[Tim Witten @timwitten]

@DHLexpress I don't usually deal with spam messages at work, but I am this week. I found https://t.co/zqmFWqnOOv to be an excellent web page with clear and easy to follow directions.