Twinks

I'm sarcastic and Northern.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Chloe 18... Mum, did lads used to send you dick pics when you were a teenager?

Me... Oh yeah, loads. They used to take a pic of their bits, nip down Boots, wait a week for it to be developed, catch the bus back to pick it up then fetch it to the Youthy on a Friday to show me.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@harryprecum1 Same to you, love 🎄

[Twinks @tinytwink]

2025 Round up …

lost 3 and a half stone
Gained a promotion
House remains full of adult children and dogs
3 holidays taken and two booked.
Shower tray remains broken because Jet 2 keep sending me more offers than B&Q.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@harryprecum1 Absolutely. Best thing I have ever purchased

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Merry Xmas you filthy animals.
Time for some gin and Home Alone.

Gone are the days of wrapping at midnight and prodding a turkey every 5 minutes to see if it has defrosted 👍

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@stephenrshaw I like living life on the edge 😂

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Right go on, piss off and have a bloody amazing Christmas.

PS… the alcohol photo is reused from last year because this years is all still in bags. The double fridge died 4 years ago. Yes there is a large Lurpak. The turkey is currently under construction.

#TwinksXmasFridge

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Making chocolate bark like Mary fucking Berry.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@M4ttso Obviously

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@M4ttso As if that is mine, honestly

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Upsated alcohol photo now I have finished going to 15 supermarkets and farm shops.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@JeanBarber Absolutely not mine 😂

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@GLB_88 It’s not my first rodeo 😂

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@M4ttso @FannilyFortunes Ffs I was not however I am so shit at remembering to look in here

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@mostly_grumpy It is already pjrchased and in the ‘second fridge’ ….

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Stay tuned for #XmasFridge this time next week… You didn’t think I would let you down, did you?

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@ojaxx2 @CookieDohDynamo @Footinit

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@mostly_grumpy Hahaaaa totally forgot about that 😂

[Twinks @tinytwink]

@mostly_grumpy Hahaa I am good thanks. You? Which tweet? 😂

[Twinks @tinytwink]

Ellies case has made progress…

[Twinks @tinytwink]

We fly on sunday morning. Ellie has not packed. She has however chosen to leave an opened suitcase on the landing for the last three days and throw things in its general direction every now and again.

[Twinks @tinytwink]

I have clothes all over the bed and the landing and my motivation has suddenly disappeared and I am sitting in the middle of it wearing some sunglasses a bikini top and pyjama bottoms.