Teddy

22. Santa Barbara.

[Teddy @titslip]

That moment when you look at porn on #tumblr and your phone glitches and closes the app because of all that sin.

[Teddy @titslip]

Enjoying life today by not ordering my adobada torta to-go over the phone.

[Teddy @titslip]

My head is freezing in bed but my farts are killing under the sheets. These are #myconfessions.

[Teddy @titslip]

Thank THE LORD for #LanaDelRey to help me filter out the basic gays... Oh and you too #IglooAustralia, for all the racists ones too 🌚🌚💋

[Teddy @titslip]

Ok Andre. I am forever your disciple. ���

[Teddy @titslip]

@shannak your mom is barely an immigrant OK

[Teddy @titslip]

Gonna try and get my eyebrows on... fleek. Don't confuse me with Cara Delevingne in 2 wks plz.

[Teddy @titslip]

Got me like 🚼🚼🚼 http://t.co/hemtwLfXJH

[Teddy @titslip]

Ok, get out of my life. Thanks. http://t.co/Amdq3soTpo

[Teddy @titslip]

So my super bass be on point for all dem fresh anacondas out there. #alwaysonfleek http://t.co/c2dZnnCu7h

[Teddy @titslip]

🐓 soup 4 da soul. Aka I'm dying. http://t.co/E9XI8ePwTZ

[Teddy @titslip]

This clinic doesn't even know what an anal fissure is? Truly concerned. #donttouchme

[Teddy @titslip]

Beats Inc. http://t.co/uYdahtKKH5

[Teddy @titslip]

Ugh Cat Deeley is such a shit. 7ft Platypus, dnt tlk 2 me.

[Teddy @titslip]

Soyouthinkyoucandance finale got me stretching my legs like I'll be on season 22.

[Teddy @titslip]

Just going through another individual rebirth. Deleted my grindr and tinder before researching the closest gym while eating my fish sticks.