Troob

[Butthole Surfers @buttholesurfers]

July 4, 1989. National Mall, Washington DC. We have always celebrated this holiday correctly. Happy Fourth 🔥🇺🇸

[Craig @Craigbocephus]

Hey @aplusk we need your retweets now more than ever: @tj1031 is in the hospital with an unspecified (but perhaps Epstein-adjacent?) illness! Please pray for Troob! #rt #troob #sool #soolissafe #getwelltroob #newglasses

[Shea Serrano @SheaSerrano]

“did a perfect front dive into the sicilian sea” is the most action bronson bar of all time

[Ellie 🍪 @kingepic22]

people complaining about tupac in stranger than heaven are really proving that they never listened to his music

[owen cyclops @owenbroadcast]

how it feels when my four year old asks me if there are “more smashing pumpkins songs”

[Tatum Turn Up @tatumturnup]

This is the greatest video I’ve ever seen. No notes. The lifeless clanker carcass just laying there. No crowd reaction, anything. Just Billie Jean. Until its lifeless shell is shamefully dragged off. Purely amazing.

[Old Man Rattle @OldRattleMan]

paying two homeless guys $30 to recreate the wish you were here album cover

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

Security took me out of the line at the PinkPantheress show and inspected my hairline. They didnt do this to anyone else in line.

Explain this @Ticketmaster.

[Harrison Weinreb @harriweinreb]

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya bud ?

[Troob @tj1031]

@Craigbocephus @consequence Unfortunate that Jellyroll got mixed up in all this. I 🙏 he had nothing to do with the naming of this tour.

[Troob @tj1031]

@consequence Perhaps look in to hiring Darius Rucker’s publicist, as his “Songs of the Summer” tour is certain to please crowds of all ages.

[Troob @tj1031]

@consequence Unfortunately, the choice to use such blue language had sidelined what could have been a great “Posty M” tour. With one three letter word, he isolated all the would-be ticket holding, church-going families.

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

DAVE LETTERMAN: Paul, the New York Mets have lost 12 straight now. Yikes.

PAUL SHAFFER: The NL East.

DAVE LETTERMAN: Right now, the hookers in Times Square are offering a Mets special where they just leave you stranded in scoring position.

PAUL SHAFFER: *plays “Centerfield”*

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

I’m at the Comedy Central Roast of Bilbo Baggins. Gollum is shuffling up to the stage. The crowd is losing it. Bilbo didn’t know he’d be here.

[Adam Piron @adam_piron]

we’re going to look back on this years from now and apologize to President Biden. sad. wistful. complicated. cluttered. those sophisticated harmonic structures, the novel vocal techniques and structural harmonies... this is his Pet Sounds.

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

In comedy, there's a "rule of three". That's why there's "three" Stooges, and not, say, 1,000,000.

[Seth Simons @sasimons]

i can’t be bothered with whatever this is. some sort of phantom if i had to guess. ultimately not my problem

[Troob @tj1031]

Netflix went from Stranger Things to climbing things #Skyscrapperlive

[Kent Garrison @KentGarrison]

I mean his records aren’t for me but I wouldn’t call them criminal