Tanya Johnston

Grumpy Old Woman

When I star a tweet,it doesn't always mean I think it's funny.It can also mean I hear you,I agree or even I am sorry to hear that

[Tanya Johnston @tjinscot]

Nothing like the cozy comfort of a departure lounge to make your 4 hour wait more enjoyable

[Tanya Johnston @tjinscot]

At Helsinki airport. Spotted the local superhero jetting off to his getaway

[Tanya Johnston @tjinscot]

Sitting here, drinking coffee, trying to cheer up and go do something. It's been 4 years.

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

You think you're rational then one day you realize you consider the letter "m" superior to the letter "n."

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

Retaliate against people who ask "how are you?" by answering.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

*climbs mountain to ask the world's wisest man one question

why are there so many mattress stores

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

Drinking Game: drink every time

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

Money can't buy me love but that's fine. I don't want love. I want money.

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

If you ever catch yourself talking about a credit card you're probably in a commercial so do what you want, kill a guy, whatever

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

Following someone on twitter is one thing. Eating a bagel is another thing. Cats are things. Come to me with all your thing questions.

[Jake @dubiousrhetoric]

Half of becoming an adult is discovering that grapes are super expensive and maybe three people you know are happy.

[Ally @TragicAllyHere]

Use cauliflower as a substitute for mashed potatoes, rice, and any joy in your life. You have no friends now, there is only cauliflower.

[Prosecco and Ponies @toni_goldsetin]

If you were an Oreo, I'd do that thing where I hold you under the milk just a little too long until you stopped moving and just fell apart.

[Tanya Johnston @tjinscot]

It's not any less real when you tell me: "It's all in your head."

[Pathetically Normal @Fredzipfel]

It's pleasant to pretend that patience is a virtue but isn't it really a mixture of laziness and despair?

[Pathetically Normal @Fredzipfel]

Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color

[Pathetically Normal @Fredzipfel]

She closed the door behind her with a subtle but perceptible bang, as if she was an untipped bellboy

[Pathetically Normal @Fredzipfel]

We were sitting in a cemetery so I asked her if she wanted to see my name on her tombstone

[Pathetically Normal @Fredzipfel]

Tastes change but not inclinations. Sometimes a pop music snob matures into a classical music snob.