Taylor Johnston

Semi-pro slip n' slider; follower of Beyoncé. Special skills include awkward dancing and Tina Turner karaoke singing

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

People I know are getting pregnant on purpose and that's truly disturbing

[kelly @BoyYeetsWorld]

I've promised so many people I would marry them if we are both single at 30 and I honestly can't wait to watch them all fight to the death for my hand in marriage in 7 years

[Ankur Pandya @AnkurFactorial]

This is my understanding of Tinder

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

@xklauren Absolutely

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

@xklauren And no Sleepless on Seattle. I HATE everything

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

They took You've Got Mail off Netflix so you could say im having the worst day of my life

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

So my aunt, for whatever reason, calls round abouts circle jerks and it's hilarious

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

"Is this what Cyndi Lauper meant when she said sweet dreams are made of these?"- @ameliakfletcher as she sits in a snuggie #hopeless

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

"This is the best kind of party cause I can wear my orthotics" @ameliakfletcher

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

I think the most devastating thing about @Sears closing is that there will be no more wishbook 💔

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

That euphoric moment when @ScottHelman sings the @thehipdotcom 's Wheat Kings and the crowd sing along and for a moment all is well 😍

[Alexis Benveniste @apbenven]

Reminder that if a woman didn't post #MeToo, it doesn't mean she wasn't sexually assaulted or harassed. Survivors don't owe you their story.

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

"Does Martha Stewart not have Instagram?" #shitameliasays

[The Ellen Show @TheEllenShow]

Care. Love. Be outraged. Be devastated. Just don’t give up. The world needs good humans today.

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

@Newt89 You are such a superman now I love it

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

#murica https://t.co/dr5EnMx3Om

[Pasco Sheriff @PascoSheriff]

To clarify, DO NOT shoot weapons @ #Irma. You won't make it turn around & it will have very dangerous side effects

https://t.co/CV4Y9OJknv

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

Merry Beyoncemas everyone. And let us remember what this day is really about: reminding the men in your life they are worthless without you

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

You know those moments when you see someone and you fall in love and a bit obsessive? Had that moment with a dog today

[Taylor Johnston @tjohns07]

@Cosmopolitan @katie__bull

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

And every single night I tell you to fuck off. https://t.co/Z7BII0cB6t