Narcissists never genuinely seek understandings with others. Any attempt at a “discussion” with a narcissist will only result in them listening for things that they can make snide responses to and seeking opportunities to try and flip the script to make you the “bad guy”.
She and I are two unhappy ones who keep together and carry our burdens together, and in this way unhappiness is changed to joy, and the unbearable becomes bearable.
In 1951, Adelbert Ames created the amazing 'Ames Window'. It is so effective that even when you know how it works, you cannot break the illusion.
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