Nelson

[Nelson @toadn5]

Ooh La La Land https://t.co/FWPEohWxYy

[Taco Bell @tacobell]

He's a #1 pick in our books.

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

Twitter is just a group text with everyone.

[Ana N. 🦊 @Based_Bali]

Captchas:

2008: The code you entered is wrong.
2018: The picture you chose doesn't have a cat
2028: the poem you wrote lacks passion and you must work more in the rhyme.

[ThatsGoodSports @BrandonPerna]

I hate to be a jerk about this but @run__cmc is terrible at the piano. Why would @NFLonFOX air this??????

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

Angel Hair is a pretty gross name for a food.

[ThatsGoodSports @BrandonPerna]

The #Broncos haven't been shutout since 1992? I was 8 and probably switched the game over to the Ninja Turtles

[DuckDuckGo @DuckDuckGo]

Security without privacy is like a house made of bullet-proof glass. No-one's getting inside but your personal life is still on display.

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

I just went to play a video game and immediately realized that playing it was entirely too much work.

[chip malfunction @online_shawn]

The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good.

[Wade Phillips @sonofbum]

A tribute to Gary Kubiak-a great leader,coach,person and friend -thank you for all you have done for us and the Denver Broncos.

[ThatsGoodSports @BrandonPerna]

Gary Kubiak speaks honestly and from the heart. Hate to see him go. #Broncos

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

I can't find one of my slippers. So I am walking around in one slipper. Can not tell if this is normal protocol or if I am starting to fade

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

I'm pretty sure my fish is depressed

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that I’ve got great news. The bad news is that I don’t know what adjectives are.

[matt @dogfather]

Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going

[Andreas (aantonop Team) @aantonop]

Happy Halving!

[Michael Carney @carneymichael]

Would you be shocked if I told you that Christopher Nolan is not a human but 8 terabytes of sentient code?

[NPR Music @nprmusic]

Would have also accepted Omar Juarez! https://t.co/9Y1Q3s1j41