cottage goblin

I eat stickers all the time dude

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@btoch Good one!

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

RIP Jesus you would’ve loved bagel chips

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@btoch You’re 32

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@btoch Oy mista!!!

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

I’m the one sitting on top of his head pulling the loose wires that control him

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

Try as they might, haters will never stop me from moshing by myself in my living room

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

What I really want is to find a little hole in the forest to hide in where none of you fuckers can find me

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

I’m an almond butter cutie on a peanut butter budget 😔

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@UnfollowLogan I was just thinking about how you do this

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

I’m living proof that one person can be a major sweetie and a little fucker at the same time

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

Water is a recurring element in my poetry and I think that’s because the water that makes up most of my body is becoming sentient and wants a seat at the table 😳

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

I don’t want to be nice anymore I want to make men feel bad

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

My cousin died in ranch’s hidden valley

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

Tesla Uber driver just made me shit my pants

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@quinnquan The knife - you make me like charity

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

No offense but I’d rather be shot execution style than go somewhere new by myself

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@UnfollowLogan Another act of oppression by a man on international women’s day

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

Every man I know has actively contributed to the oppression of women so I expect all of you to do more than tweet something about it being international women’s day like paying me $500,000 or actually doing something to actively combat the patriarchy xoxo

[cottage goblin @tofu_witch]

@UnfollowLogan Were you planning on giving me 500k?