Tom Costello

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

people who drive faster than me? reckless lunatics. people who drive slower than me? annoying cowards. and me? perfect, as per usual

[Tim Farron @timfarron]

We’ve decided to bring down Trump and Vance by reactivating Agent Truss. She torched the Tories for us in less than 2 months. Musk will have deleted his account by Summer. Happy to help.

[Tommy O’Dwyer @TommyOKid]

Thanks Santa. Yeah, you can guess my parents tax bracket

[Tom Costello @tomcostello_]

@pbroadhurst94 @BarryCantSwim @O2AcademyBrix Bloody bozo x

[Tom Costello @tomcostello_]

Selling 1 x @BarryCantSwim ticket for tonight at @O2AcademyBrix - face value

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

I was the intimacy coordinator on the set of Stuart Little

[Graeme @Graeme1872rfc]

Me leaving the barbers on Tuesday when oasis reform

[Frank @forget_exit]

“No politics here” 😂

[Pistachio 🇮🇷 🇵🇸 @HarleyShah]

Sentencing a peaceful protester who’s pushing 60 to five years in jail for wanting our children to have a planet to live on, while corporate criminals poison and starve us all and only ever get rewarded with more money. Absolutely pathetic. Not a real country

[Mr Demos of Pnyx @gem_ste]

Who remembers this. One of the greatest symbols of Putin's tyranny we were told, despicable, all the hallmarks of the authoritarian state. And yet individuals today in the UK who peacefully blocked a motorway have been jailed for more than double this sentence.

[michael wave @michael___wave]

the bbc headline doesn’t make it clear but their reporting does: a disabled man was mauled for several minutes at least by an idf attack dog, forcibly separated from his family by soldiers, and left by those soldiers to die of his wounds. not a lonely death, but murder

[amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde]

biden: [clearing his throat for eight minutes] dr king has been shot

[jess 💚 @jessasstrophe]

what’s the matter smooth skin? never seen a ghoul before?

[Cam Walsh @CamWalsh27]

My idea for Knives Out 3:

Replace Daniel Craig with Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe. Set in the 1970s and it’s a little bit of a buddy cop comedy. Ryan Gosling plays Benoit Blanc but they all call him Holland March, (in this version of the character he’s a depressed investigator). Russell Crowe plays a hired hand who hurts people for a living. They’re trying to solve a missing person case and find themselves in spiraling mystery regarding the Hollywood Porn Industry and stuff.

[Karim Wafa-Al Hussaini @DrKarimWafa]

I’ve said it before and I’m doing to say it again: Indigenous people don’t burn their native lands. Indigenous people don’t destroy ancestral tree farms. Indigenous people don’t uproot plants. Colonial settlers do.

[Sam Stryker @sbstryker]

I hope some studio exec is watching this Ryan Gosling Oscars performance and decides to greenlight The Nice Guys 2

[Wraith LaFrentz @WraithLaFrentz]

The all new 2024 Nissan al Gaib

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Daily Brain Workout:
2 sets of counting to ten. 2 sets of alphabet. 10 minutes of trying to spell restiront. Then list animals until failure