tomnipotent

Ever get the feeling that you're being followed? Me neither...

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

Did you know that Treat Williams has a twin brother named Trick? That is where the saying "Trick or Treat" originated. As children, they would go around on Halloween and the neighbors had to guess which Williams brother had rung their doorbell.
#TheMoreYouKnow

[Rebecca Black @MsRebeccaBlack]

its fucking Friday!

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

If a doctor performs an appendectomy on Gordon Sumner, is it considered a Sting operation?

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

There's one thing that @ChappellRoan and I agree on, which is that her fans are insufferable.

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

It's my twitter quinceañera
#MyXAnniversary

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@paulrust Fun Fact: It is only considered Shampoo if it comes from the Shampoo region of France, otherwise it's just hair soap.

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@ComedyBangBang @AlexTheJustOK @earwolf "Bone", like to the degree that George Thorogood was bad. (and "queef", like a pussy fart)

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@Krasdale @Gabrus If he were a president, he'd be Baberaham Lincoln

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@ComedyBangBang @earwolf @EdiPattersonHi @ScottAukerman GREAT EP!

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@ComedyBangBang ♾️+1

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

I don't think America could ever switch to the Metric System because Quentin Tarantino would miss feet too much

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

My nightstand looks like the girl from Signs lives here.

#TooManyCups

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@paulrust With Willem Dafriends like this, who needs Willem Dafoes?

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@mattmort @ComedyBangBang

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@ComedyBangBang "Bruba go do" is more of an all-time greatest catchphrase than a holiday one. Extra wet.

@gilozeri

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@LilyYily I'm glad this was finally referenced on Hey Randy! Great on the fly editing by Mark Padavano (sp?)

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@Tomblaker19 @paulrust Toms together... strong!

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@paulrust I'm a fan of Tom-based humor, and I fully approve of this post.

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

Your a-hole is also your b-hole

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@ComedyBangBang 🎵Swamp Thing, you make my heart sing 🎶

[tomnipotent @tommarto]

@earwolf @mradamscott @ScottAukerman U Callin' Outto 'bout "A Man Called Otto" 2 Me, Man?