my name is actually sam

full time stay at home dad to twin girls
I play thrash drums in @RottenHotdish
my sports feed is @minnesotairons podcast @FootballForOne he/him

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

Jesus F Murray Abraham

[ContextFall @ContextFall]

Kurt Vonnegut (Slaughterhouse-Five)

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

The duality of man.

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

Me watching the new season of White Lotus

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

Jesus F Murray Abraham

[Frog and Toad Bot @FrogandToadbot]

'Well then,' said Toad, 'a little more sleep will not hurt me.'

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

@faustfatale After my grandparents passed I got these beauties. Somehow I was the only one who wanted them! I have never been able to find out anything about Kindell, but thanks to you I finally know more than just a name! Thank you for this article!

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

@JoeMyGod 3. Father, son, and holy ghost

[Shonda @ShondaMartin_]

The STUDENT LOAN FORGIVENESS APPLICATIONS could open as soon as tomorrow! So here's a thread on how to tell if your loan actually qualifies and how to properly prepare for the application.

1/?

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

Holy shit! Botch is back!
https://t.co/WpnnEPH2c6

[✨@foundbysara on insta @foundbysara]

MINNEAPOLIS GOTHIC

35W is under construction. 35W has always been under construction. Your friend’s mother says she remembers driving the entire stretch once, long ago. You don’t believe her.

a squirrel tries to make eye contact with you. You know better than to acknowledge it.

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

@DavidFutrelle He can drive a car, he's just not very good at it
https://t.co/BPd5Wzdp34

[Mike Hanford @MikeHanford]

It’s true! We all look and feel GREAT.

[Kurt Vonnegut @Kurt_Vonnegut]

Extenuating circumstance to be mentioned on Judgment Day: We never asked to be born in the first place.

[my name is actually sam @tommytwotacks]

Stop what your doing and behold. This is my new religion #onemorequestion

[John Frankensteiner @JFrankensteiner]

Columbo Eats, a supercut

[Frog and Toad Bot @FrogandToadbot]

“But there is one thing that I can do all by myself.”

“What is that?” asked Frog.

“I can go home,” said Toad. “Winter may be beautiful, but bed is much better.”

[Sesame Chiccen @Loccdawggg]

NOW WEAR YOUR MASK!!!!

[Antifashleigh 🇺🇦 🇵🇸 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 @antifashleigh]

Tfw it's NOT Jenga

[Healthy chronicles Vol. 4 @bighealthyfr]

I remember someone said if you watch a Teddy performance on mute it look like he doing standup comedy